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EsquireEmily, Counselor w/Psych Degree
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 765
Experience:  I have a degree in Psychology and a degree in Law. I have 10+ years experience helping others.
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I am in same sex relationship for the last 7 years. we went

Customer Question

I am in same sex relationship for the last 7 years. we went through a lot (moving overseas, finishing degrees...). My girlfriend remained married to keep helping her husband with visas, to find the work... I am tired of all these as now when we are able to start enjoy ourselves she has started to talk about going back to him, that she is not happy and fulfilled. I would like to try to help us but don't knoe how.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  EsquireEmily replied 8 years ago.

It sounds like you are in a complicated situation. One hard fact in life is that you can't force someone to love you or to want to stay wit you. It's great that you and your partner have been together for so long, and hopefully you will be able to work things out so that both of you are happy.

I would strongly advise you to sit down with your partner and be direct with her -- ask her if there is anything specific about your relationship that is making her unhappy. If she can't give you a straight answer, explain to her that you want what is best for her and for her happiness, and that she cares a great deal to her. Tell her that you would like her to be happy in a relationship with you, and that you would like to go to counseling to try to get through the rough patch.

If she agrees to go to counseling, it's very important that you actually go see someone right away. It doesn't have to be an actual marriage counselor - you could also go see a priest, minister, iman or rabbi, depending on your beliefs. Many colleges and universities with graduate programs in Psychology also offer free or inexpensive counseling - or ask your regular doctor for a referral.

Good luck!

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