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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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i have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. he just now saying

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i have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. he just now saying "love you". we worked together for 4 and 3\4 of those years. he got another job that pays more. i was happy 4 him. so anyway after that, our relationship began 2 dwindle. where he was calling me everyday, when he first left, he decreased the calls. i noticed the difference and i mentioned it. he told me 2 quit being a baby and stop whining all the time. i figured i was used 2 seeing him everyday and needed to get over it. so whenever he wasnt so busy, he would come 2 c me. whenever he did, we were intimate. well now i had a talk with him about how he has lost some respect for me. He told me ive changed bc where he could call me every other day and i would be okay, i got spoiled by him calling everyday. I also told him that i always say i love you 2 you but you never said it 2 me. so the next time we talked on the phone he said it. now, the next day he doesnt answer my calls\text. i admit clinginess. are we over

It's too soon to tell if it's over, but it sounds like he's not being everything he could be as a boyfriend. For someone you've been with for so long, this shouldn't be an issue, you should be able to talk to him without being called a baby or being called names. The fact that he took so long to tell you he loves you is not that great either. You're going to have to think about whether or not you want to be with someone who loves, cares for and respects you, or someone who puts you in second place and can't express his feelings towards you, except in frustration or anger. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
well what do i do? what about him not answering my calls or texts. i did always complain when i felt he was not being everything he could be to me. maybe he was tired of me complaining? and i have to c him every week because we sing in the same music group. made up of about 7 people. not enough to ignore him. i love him so much. i dont wanna lose him because i was clingy and needy and nagging
Hello Land,

I can't tell you what to do, but you have to ask yourself were you really being clingy, needy and nagging or did you have valid points? Is he trying to make you look like a nag, when you are only asking for certain things that after five years should have already been there? Make yourself a list of his pros and cons, what he does to make you happy, what you do to make him happy, and look at the lists and see where the differences are. I understand you love him, but you have to love yourself more. I'm here if you want to talk more.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
are you online? Do i call him? do i leave him alone? this is just the day after he said i love you that he's not answering my calls. why would he do that. how do i act the next time i see him. please help. i have to c him tomorrow.
I wouldn't ask him about anything. I would go through the rehearsal or whatever it is as if it didn't matter, and see how he reacts. If he is already used to you 'nagging' or asking him about things, this would throw him off his regular reaction and make him wonder what's gotten into you.

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