replied 8 years ago.
Thank you so much. :)
Okay, so the night before last, we got talking about the whole situation. I'd been taking your advice, being busy, not txting him all the time, not bringing the engagement stuff up, etc.
Anyhoo. So during our discussion, he had said that although he loves me so much, and I'm the best thing in his life, he is unhappy with every other part of his life and wants to be happy all-around, before we go to the next level.
I explained that I understood and respected his feelings on it, but then I gave a different perspective. Not to try and change how he feels or anything, just give a different view.
I explained that although it's completely respectable and I totally understand ... there will always be some form of stress in life. Regardless if you're married or not, engaged or not. Stress is inevitable. Even if you're working at your dream job, there will still be SOMETHING you don't like, whether it be a coworker or a mundane task you have to do.
Then I said I know a lot of guys feel that they need to reach a certain goal before they can get engaged or whatever, but that it's not necessary. I mean, yes, obviously if you're planning to have kids in the near future, you'd need finances in order and possibly a house.
But we already live together. He apparently knows he wants to marry me, with no doubts. And apparently he's known this since early on in our relationship.
When I was talking about how there's always stress in life, I started talking about how everyone has their moments where they just totally feel like shit, and they hate certain parts of their life, like maybe their job sucks (he wants a new job, but has said it's bearable, that he just finds his boss annoying). I said that I have those moments too - but that doesn't change how I feel about him, or when/where/how I want our relationship to progress. I said I could be homeless and jobless, and still want to marry him. Obviously that would suck and may not be the smartest, but I'm sure you know what I mean. I was trying to make a point.
He was totally silent the whole time, which was really nice, because I knew he was definitely taking in what I was saying. Usually if it's an argument or something, he'll pipe up and interrupt a lot and I know we're getting nowhere. But I've changed how I approach things.
Anyway. So I was impressed with how I explained things, and I really hope I at least made him think about things more. Even if he doesn't change his mind.
So. Now we get to today.
I was being a nerd and reading my horoscope. He was right next to me, so I went to his.
Basically his ENTIRE horoscope was about him either giving or receiving a proposal by Christmas, or New Year's. I was just sitting there thinking, um wow. It'd be nice if it came true, obviously haha, but I won't take it to heart.
Anyway. So I was reading out the last part, where it (again) said that he'd be giving or getting a marriage proposal by year's end.
I laughed and made a joke, saying "Ooh, maybe I'll propose to you!" He laughed and said "aww" and I (harmlessly, not meaning to start anything) then said "No, don't worry, I wouldn't do that. I know I'd get a no and it'd crush my ego" and then I continued laughing.
Then right away, he's like "I highly, highly doubt I'd say no." So then I responded with a "yes you would, it's okay"
Then he gets all serious and looks at me, and says "what makes you think I'd say no?"
I was kinda shocked and just looked at him, then said "because ... you've told me that you're not ready to get engaged, so whether I ask or you ask, it shouldn't make a difference..."
Then he just got up and said he was going to lay down. I was like what the heck just happened here??!
And now I'm so confused. Like what the heck. He tells me over and over again how he's not ready, he has to be completely and totally happy with every facet of his life before he can get engaged .... but then if I'm the one doing the asking ... he'd say yes?
I don't understand it, at all.