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Problem Husband was making dinner for his best friend. It

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Problem: Husband was making...
Problem: Husband was making dinner for his best friend. It was going to be 2 hours later than expected. I offered after my husband expressed dismay to treat all to dinner at restaurant downstairs in our building. Step son answered: How rude! my father has been working on this for three hours! Terrible thing to do. I walked out and did not return for balance of evening. Do I apologize to guest that was over.
Submitted: 9 years ago.Category: Relationship
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Answered in 2 minutes by:
12/11/2008
Counselor: KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert replied 9 years ago
KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help me to know:

 

-Was your husband already cooking the dinner?

 

-Were the guess there when you offered?


-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

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Customer reply replied 9 years ago
Yes,my husband was already cooking dinner. Guest had been waiting 1 hour already -- hor's dheuvres were long past finished.
People involved: my husband, his son, his oldest friend and myself.
When my husband stated his dismay that dinner was going to take an additional hour (2 hours wait time) -- in an effort to bail my hiusband out of kitchen mistake/distress I offered that, as his best friend takes us out yearly around the holidays, if I couldn't treat to very nice restaurant downstairs. It was a question that could have been answered with simply, no, thank you: I/we are fine to wait. The friend hesitated, did not want to choose and then my step son answered rudely: How rude: my father has been working for three hours!
I could not believe that an offer made completely with good intentions was met with such sharp, nasty answer. My hiusband, had, in the past bought dinner when I was serving an hour later than expected. If anyone knows how hard it is to make dinner, I am one of them.
I turned, walked out of the room and the three of them ate dinner in my apartment (my husband was recently transferred to houston -- so we have two temporarily -- drank my wine, sat at table I set etc. while I, in other room, fell asleep and was too humiliated to return.
Customer reply replied 9 years ago
Yes,my husband was already cooking dinner. Guest had been waiting 1 hour already -- hor's dheuvres were long past finished.
People involved: my husband, his son, his oldest friend and myself.
When my husband stated his dismay that dinner was going to take an additional hour (2 hours wait time) -- in an effort to bail my hiusband out of kitchen mistake/distress I offered that, as his best friend takes us out yearly around the holidays, if I couldn't treat to very nice restaurant downstairs. It was a question that could have been answered with simply, no, thank you: I/we are fine to wait. The friend hesitated, did not want to choose and then my step son answered rudely: How rude: my father has been working for three hours!
I could not believe that an offer made completely with good intentions was met with such sharp, nasty answer. My hiusband, had, in the past bought dinner when I was serving an hour later than expected. If anyone knows how hard it is to make dinner, I am one of them.
I turned, walked out of the room and the three of them ate dinner in my apartment (my husband was recently transferred to houston -- so we have two temporarily -- drank my wine, sat at table I set etc. while I, in other room, fell asleep and was too humiliated to return.





Customer reply replied 9 years ago
Should I call husband's best friend for not be as gracious a hostess as I had intended?
Counselor: KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert replied 9 years ago
Customer

 

One more question: How old is your step son?

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Customer reply replied 9 years ago
He is 23 years old, graduated from college last year and lives in his own apartment.
My husband and I have been together for seven years.
Counselor: KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert replied 9 years ago
Customer

 

I would call the friend and explain your end of the situation and explain to him that you weren't trying to insult your husband but he seemed frustrated and you just wanted to bail him out so he could enjoy the evening rather than stressing about the food and dinner. I'm sure he already understands what you meant by it but most importantly you need to have a talk with your husband about the way his son reacted and treated you or better yet talk to his son but do not start a fight just tell him he could have worded it better than to say you were being rude when he didn't know what you meant by your offer and that you thought he was disrespecting you when all you were trying to do is help his father out because he was obviously stressing about dinner. I think it was a huge misunderstanding and miscommunication all the way around and this could be fixed through explanation.

KimberlyF
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Satisfied Customers: 750
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Customer reply replied 9 years ago
There is no "talking" to my step son -- his is always "right" and my husband goes to extreme lengths to punish me, or reward me on how he perceives to be status of relationship between his son and I. Very irrational, and I have been dismissed many a time: When I did not want girls sleeping over when my daughters were home, at time. My daughters are 4 and six years younger than his son.

When I told him, at younger age that I did not need help with my brand new camera while trying to take picture of my father and daughters at airport. Later on plane son bugged me three times to play with my camera -- third time I said: here take it. Father and son did not talk to me, or my daughters for balance of trip, and we have never taken a family vacation since.
Step son has no job, took law boards by was only in 60%tile despite being very bright. He gets high all the time and says things like: Is this table of hers (mine) really good enf. to require a coaster?
My husband's two daughters have not spoken to him since divorce and ever since Stepson can do no wrong; only be wronged. more than just a little "misunderstanding Where did they believe not including me in dinner would go? All too humiliating.
I believe son needs to realize that not everyone reacts the way he would and that just because he would not be hurt, I shouldn't be. Not the case -- only the case in our house.
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Counselor: KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert replied 9 years ago
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