She is 33, I am 32.
We have been friends for 13 years.
No, I haven't shared these feelings with her.
She has been married 7 years.
I have never been in a relationship, male or female. I do not identify as gay, but do feel that if there was one person to that I would cross that line for, it would be her. I think that maybe why I have not opened myself up to others is that I feel attached to her, that to be involved with someone else would be cheating. These are feelings that I have just now come to realize.
She is having some difficulties in her marriage now and is leaning on me more than she has in the past. Having witnessed how her husband treats her at times makes it difficult for me to keep my mouth shut. He will verbally abuse her when he thinks that I am not around or does not realize that I am in the other room and can hear him. I have not said anything as she can defend herself and I will not get involved between a husband and wife, but it is becoming more difficult now as he is starting to do the same to his 5-year-old daughter.
My first instinct is to pull back and be less available, but I do not know if that is the best thing to do. By nature, I am a solitary person and other than my parents she is the only other person that I talk to/do things with. I do not know what to do.