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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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I have a 1 year old daughter with a guy that i am in love with.

Customer Question

CryI have a 1 year old daughter with a guy that i am in love with. he went to prison when i was 5 months pregnant and got out when the baby was 7 months old...i have a new boyfriend now and like him a lot and he does a great job with my daughter. I am not in love with him and i am with the other guy. I want to be with the one that went to prison but i dont know if that is the right thing to do. i am pregnant with my boyfriend and i dont know if the other guy would take me back. what should i i get over him and try to forget or follow my heart and mess up my kids lives?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.
What did he go to prison for?

How involved has he been with his daughter or you since he got out?

How was your relationship with him before he went to prison?

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
He went to prison for stealing video games even though he did have a prior record. when he got out he was very upset that i was with someone else. We were very much in love before he went in, we were engaged and talked about everything. while he was gone i lost that feeling because i was lonely and wanted to feel loved. well i started with someone else, and i regret that now because he isn't like how Brian( the guy who went to prison) and i were.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.
You said 'or follow my heart and mess up my kids lives' can you explain what you meant by that?

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
following my heart would mean to be with brian, but being with him could cause my kids to grow up with step parents and confuse them. i know there is nothing wrong with step because i was raised like that but i always wanted my kids to have one mom one dad and syblings and also i dont know if brian would mess up and go back to jail or not with the other guy that isn't an option. i want what is best for my kids, but i want to be happy too
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.
Hello SJ

From what you're telling me it sounds like whichever way you go, you'll still be dealing with a step-parent because you have one from each? Sometimes wanting whats best for the kids and being happy cannot happen, and sometimes we have to make what would really be difficult choices.....but the fact is, if you're not happy, then the kids won't be happy, so it really has to be about what you want, and what's best for you. You could always not be with either guy, if you're not really in love with the other guy, and you're not sure if Brian can be responsible, maybe you need to be by yourself till you can figure out what you want. I would give Brian a good amount of time before getting back with him anyway just at least to see if he can live a normal life without putting himself, you or the kids in jeopardy, by doing something wrong or getting locked up again. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.