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my boyfriend has just ended it with me, he left his wife to

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be with me, things have...
my boyfriend has just ended it with me, he left his wife to be with me, things have been good with us and the day before he was still telling me he loves me. His wife wants him back even though she knows about me. He says he doesn't want to keep hurting me, but doesn't know if he wants to go back, but according to his friends he has spoken about leaving for at least a year before he did. What do I do, give up or wait and then try to get him back? He hasn't gone back to his wife so far.
Submitted: 9 years ago.Category: Relationship
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Answered in 11 minutes by:
12/7/2008
Counselor: KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert replied 9 years ago
KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:

 

-What are your ages?

 

-How long were you together?

 

-Do he and his wife have children together?

 

-What was his reasons for leaving you?


-According to his friend he was planning on leaving you for a year now?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

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Customer reply replied 9 years ago
I'm 33, he is 40, 6 months together, no children together, she has 2 from a previous partner, they live with her, he has 2 from a previous partner and they live with their mother, he said he was having doubts about us, we work together, and his boss has just confronted him about us, as we were keeping it under wraps, he had been planning on leaving his wife for a year before he got involved with me
Counselor: KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert replied 9 years ago
Customer

 

All you can do is give him some time that may be what he wants and he knew he could not really think being with you and needs his freedom to think about everything. He seems way more confused than you are right now and knows he won't be able to think clearly with him being with you. You don't have any other choice but to give him some time and then contact him for either an explanation or closure. I think the boss confronting him about you really scared him possibly also,l he doesn't want to lose his job. Just with everything that has happened in the past year or so may be taking their toll on him emotionally and mentally. I would give him at least two weeks to a month to think about things and then ask for your answers to all the questions you have. If he isn't ready to give you that in that amount of time then maybe you should move on because you cannot waste the rest of your life waiting for him to be ready to make up his mind and tell you what he wants.

 

Hopefully he will take this time to be by himself and not get into yet another relationship without being emotionally ready to put the effort into the relationship you see what he did was split with his wife and then was with you without finding closure in his marriage and making himself emotionally free for you. That is why it is always good to take some time after a breakup and contemplate what went wrong and what part he had in the breakup and what he could fix about himself to not keep making the same mistakes over and over and he did not do that, he should have at least given himself a month to think things through before getting into a relationship with you so fast. I don't understand why if it wasn't affecting your work environment why the boss would feel the need to confront him about a relationship outside of work. What you should do is give him two weeks to a month without any contact and then after that time call him and ask him to talk to you and give you the answer you need to find closure in the relationship.

KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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Customer reply replied 9 years ago
Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX I already knew that this is what I need to do, I'm just terrified he'll decide to go back. I am totally devastated, we had such plans, but you're right space is what he needs. I may be back in touch in a few weeks. Thank you for your time and kind words.
Counselor: KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert replied 9 years ago
Customer

 

Please don't hesitate to come back if you need my help, I'm here as long as you need me to be. Good luck to you!

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