How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Cher Your Own Question
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21386
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Cher is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I am a thailady and the mans citizen u.s.a and 8 y.can bee com in low wife him by lo

Resolved Question:

I and him.Relationship..with him 8 y..and now He 's alway tack care me .send the money to thailand onHe's Account in thailand and all of son .They are respect and call me mom somtime and The company's too..and I can com visi him at the jop..sometime..alway we are at my nam he's buy for build and buy car for me..too.but He's .Don't need to married with me..Why? He's love to sing and have bee 2 married 2 time.and bad.So he's say 'my life you with me longer then everbody..I need to know for my Benefits On my Life! sometime he's wroking far..I am be worried and be afraid..How?my life..and I don't trust him..I need to know My Relationship..I am have 10 visa to u.s.a.for tourist..
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.

I'd like to make sure I understand everything correctly, about your relationship with this man.

He is a citizen of the U.S. and you are Thai. You've been together for 8 years, he supports you, bought you a car and a house, has been married 2 times before, and says he doesn't want to marry you, but he's lived with you longer (or had a relationship with you for longer) than any other woman.

Are you looking for some sort of 'security', when you mention 'benefits on my life', regarding money, that if anything should happen to him, that you will have money from his will or insurance, etc., to continue to live like you are living now?

Why don't you trust him and why are you afraid? Do you feel he will leave you and you will have no home, no car, no money?

Do you mean you've had 10 visas to come to the U.S. to visit him and spend time here? Does he work in Thailand and spend a lot of time with you there?

Has he ever asked you to live here with him in the U.S.?

Do you have any children together?

Thanks for all the additional information you can give me, so I can help.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.

Thank you.yes! 10 visas to come .us. to alway .on the time had wrok in u.s.a and He's alway stay with me in thailand.When ? don't have wrok..Don't have childrrn.but I am have 1 boy 12 He's 2 boy..and..The few afraid ! yes, I day somethingk..? I don't know How my relalionship..and he's love wrok go aroud..And love Dingking and don't know..Some time at airport..Have some and him..When? I tell husband! I have wrong..staying meny Asked..And alway Alone! And can't call him..Come to Us. for Visi My husband!.my boy frined! o.k...for sad! sometime,in the time.I don't have save ..

Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
Hello again, and thank you for providing more information about your situation.

I understand your worry and if you are not married to him, even though he's supporting you and your son now, if you should stop having a relationship with him or something should happen to him, you will no longer have the support he's giving you now, which is scary, as your future is uncertain.

You need to talk to him about your relationship and your future. Tell him that you've been together for a long time now, and you obviously love each other, but you need some sort of security. He may not want to get married, even though he loves you, because he's been married 2 times before, and he's afraid. This is common in men who have had failed marriages in the past--they're afraid to get married again, and feel comfortable just maintaining a relationship with a woman for many years. They are afraid to make that 'commitment' on 'paper' to get married. However, in your situation, I believe it would be a good idea to get something in writing saying that he's supporting you, taking care of you and your son and if anything should happen to him, he will have money put aside for you to get. It's really not a matter of money, but security for your future, if he doesn't want to get married right now. Unless you can convince him of this--to get married.

Ask him why he doesn't want to marry you and see what he has to say, then you can discuss it. But, don't push too hard on the issue, because you don't want to upset him and think you're only interested in what he's doing for you and your son. Tell him you've been together for so long and you love each other, so the next step is to get married, and how does he feel about that.

I hope things work out well for you and wish you much good luck!

Cher and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you