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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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hi there, looking for a bit of damage limitation advice! i

Customer Question

hi there, looking for a bit of damage limitation advice! i made a very stupid mistake at the weekend. I am 29 and single , i am a vet and we have student vets that come into our practice for work experience. One young man (20) is with us now, we get on very well together as i am quite young at heart anyway, i developed a bit of a crush on him but i honestly believe it is just a fantasy work crush - not real. but i stepped over the line on friday nite as i got very,very drunk and sent him a text i dont know the contents for sure which is really freaking me out but with the help of flashbacks i think i asked him to meet me for a drink on the saturday and god knows what else i said! i am so embarrassed.. i thought i had grown out of these silly drunk things. he rang me on saturday but my friend answered and said i had left my phone in her house that night , the fact he rang makes me REALLY worry. he is in on thursdays and fridays, i am taking 2moro off - cant face him, help please !
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.
Are you not able to check your sent texts and see what you said?

Have you texted with him before on a personal level?

Were you with friends the night you texted him?

Are you interested in him, would you go out with him if he wanted to?

Customer: replied 8 years ago.


Hi Chase, thanks for accepting my question. Yes we do text on a friendly level but the basis would normally be work involved,I was with friends i had a dinner party and the girls went to bed i was cleaning up , stsrted thinking about him and got the idea into my head to text him.


I do get hungover paranoia anyway, but i think i sent the text and deleted it so i wouldnt have to worry about it he next morning. so i dont have solid fact that i did but im fairly sure i did.


Am i interested? yeah, mabye the age gap can be very obvious though... im really not sure because its just been fantasy, the reality of it is probably very different.

Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.
If you are interested, then don't panic, either return his call (easier than face to face) and see what he says. If he says ok about going out for a drink, then you're ok, but if he says he's not interested and/or tried to give you the letdown, you can always say that one of your girlfriends was playing with your phone that night, and wouldn't tell you who she sent a text to, and that you're ready to murder her, lol

I wouldn't worry so much about the age thing unless you're looking to get married, there's nothing wrong with going out fro drinks or whatever. Even if it went down a serious path and marriage became a factor, it's not unheard of, but it really all depends upon your comfortability with the situation. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.

thanks chase,


the thing is he will be in work on friday and i dont know what he is going to say. or what i said in the text. So i'm completely un - prepared. I cant ring him now, im just too embarrassed and i've left it too late anyway.


mabye i am making this bigger than it is? if it wasnt that we work together two days a week and im his trainer so i need his respect i wouldn't care.


Do you think if he says "you sent me a text friday night" i should act surprised, say "did i?" and laugh it off ?? and just start talking about something else..


i guess what is really freaking me out is what if i said personal i stuff like i really like him blah blah drunken ramblings.



Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.
You could call and say that your friend just gave you the message today, like "hey, did you call me this past Sat? my friend just told me today" or something to that effect. I would much rather speak to him on the phone than to face him tommorow in front of others, or face to face (I'm a chicken sometimes, lol). Or you could text him, and ask him "did you call me this past Sat?" and when he says yes, tell him your friend just told you today, and you weren't sure if it was him and then ask what he wanted, and see what he says.

What do you think?

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
well you've got more guts than me! i think im trying to disapeer this mess until i absaloutely hve to face it.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.
What about texting him and asking if he called? and saying your friend just told you?