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My husband and I have been living apart for over three years,three

years ago we agreed i...
My husband and I have been living apart for over three years,three years ago we agreed i needed to go take care of my mother who was terminally ill,a year later she passed and I moved back home with my husband but within a month I was restless and wanted us to move from our home town so we decided on land in Tn,my husband was supposed to move with me within a six month period but still has not to this day.Long story short i had a affair that ended badly and the man I had a affair with sent pictures to my husband of he and I together,not bad ones but compromising never the less,my husband was hurt but told me he had been seeing another woman as well,a woman that used to be my best friend.My husband came to visit me and we agree we will always be in love and do not want to divorce but we no longer get along on so many levels,we have grown so far apart emotionally.We have now been married 31 years,and went steady since i was 13 and he was 14.Im scared and alone in Tn.How do i start over ?
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Answered in 16 minutes by:
12/1/2008
Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2,897
Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
Verified
Hello

The affair was with someone where you are now?

In what ways don't you get along?

Why are you scared in TN?

What are your ages?

Are you working? meeting people? How have things been over the past three yrs?

Chase
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Customer reply replied 9 years ago

The affair I had was with a man i met online in poker , he would fly down to visit often from Canada , he wanted more , i did not ....

 

My husband and I do not get along because we have both grown apart in so many ways , he is a health nut and exercise fanatic while i am neither , he nit picks on me and talks down to me for years and years and he says i never listen but i always do i just do not always do as he says .. It is hard for me to say anything really bad about him because we do still love each other we just cant get along about anything but our grown children that we have in common ..There is just tension always in the air when we are visiting each other and we have not had a sex life for probably 15 or more years other than maybe a couple times a year like he was doing me a favor , good Lord !

 

I am scared in Tn because never in my life have I been on my own , I always raised the kids and took care of the home and my inlaws and parents and only worked small part time jobs a few times now and then for extra money for myself .. Thank God my husband still pay's all my bills because I have never even done that ..

 

I am 47 and my husband is 48..

 

I am not working as it is very hard to find a job in a very rural area where I live and I have become depressed and stopped even looking even though i really really want to work . The only person I know here is my next door neighbor up the road ... She is very nice but very religious , this is the Bible belt and all and I am a Christian woman but not into the whole church going scene ..

 

So far as how have I been , pretty good all things considering , i do have 4 dogs and 3 cats and 3 horses to care for and a donkey to keep me some what busy ..

 

I want to meet a man to keep company with but i do not drink alcohol so bar's and out and i really do not know where to go to meet anyone all alone by myself ..

 

thank you.

Customer reply replied 9 years ago
I answered the "info request" is there something else I am supposed to do ?
Hello,

I apologize as I had not gotten notice of your last reply. It's hard when you have certain dreams and your spouse has a totally different outlook on things. It's not easy to start over, especially in a place where you don't know anyone. You have to balance out what you have now and compare it to moving closer to your husband or closer to family where you can at least have some people around you that you can depend on. I'm worried what will happen if your husband decides not to pay your bills any longer? There are a few places where you can go to look for a job, and I wouldn't give up on that. At least if you are working, you can meet other people and get out of the house. There's a website called www.plentyoffish.com that posts personals by community, but it doesn't mean that you still won't find guys that aren't serious, and are looking for one thing. You just have to take things slow, and not rush into any type of relationship. You can also see if there are any women's groups in your town, like the Red Hat Society in your area, yahoo has tons of different types of groups in many different areas. You can think about taking a class, or even giving a class if you have a skill others might want to learn. Start a womans book group or some other type of group. Women friends can always introduce you to new guys and even get together and go out. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.

Chase
Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
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Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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