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Ask Ms Chase Your Own Question
Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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How do I know if the guy Im interested in feels the same way

Resolved Question:

How do I know if the guy I'm interested in feels the same way I do? I told him a few months ago that I have a thing for him, but nothing has really changed. We work together, and we talk more...He does have a girlfriend that he's been seeing for a few months now...And he does flirt with me. But he's a nice guy and flirts with other co-workers, most of which are much older than the two of us. How do I know if he's even possibly intesested in me? Is there a list of things I should look for? Should I forget him and keep looking? We are friends at the very least...that much I'm sure of.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.

How long have you known him?

Are you trying to get involved with him while he's in a relationship with this other woman?

What are your ages?

What kind of work do you do? How close do you work with him?

What did he say when you told him that you had a thing for him?

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
I just moved back to northern Maine in the middle of June, and we both work at JCPenny's as sale's associate's. He's been there 2 years, and I started about...2 weeks after I moved. And no, I'm not trying to get between the two of them at all. I didn't even know he had one until maybe a month ago. I was just trying to get to know him...We're both 18. He didn't say much...He said I surprised him by saying it, but that he knew I did...But I'm not really sure if he's just being friendly when we talk...or if I'm not seeing something...I haven't gone out with anyone in 2 years...I'm a little rusty =D
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.
lol@ a little rusty. It's ok, we've all been there. The point is to take your time, not rush into anything, and like you are trying to do now, know if someone likes you before moving further. I'm of the belief that if a guy likes you, you won't have to ask, because everything he does will show you that he likes you. At this point, if he's not being clear that he likes you 'like that' then all you can assume is that he doesn't. Perhaps he's thrown off because he can tell that you like him...most guys like to be the one who takes the initiative, so he may not know how to react. Not to mention that he has a girlfriend.....then it's a good thing that he's being true to her, because you actually know what kind of man he is.

I would focus on other things right now, don't be around him too much, don't be the first to approach him, call him or speak to him. Start backing off and get busy with other things in your life. If he likes you this will make him wonder why you're not there "liking" him, and what the problem is. It may make him move toward you more, but unless he moves toward you by breaking up with his girlfriend, do not give into his curiosity, just maintain your own life and the things you do....get a hobby, take a class, keep yourself busy. Eventually you will know how he feels, one way or the other. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.


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Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Thank you very much. I feel much better. I do have other things to concentrate on, like college and my daughter.
I didn't mention her...but maybe he's intimidated by that?...that I have a 2 year old?...
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.
Could be, sometimes men are intimidated by the responsibility they feel a child brings to a relationship. Best thing for you as a single mom, is if you meet a guy you like, keep him away from your daughter for the first few months. Never introduce her to a guy/guys you are dating, the only times she should meet someone is when you know it's going to get serious. Try as hard as you can to refrain from sex until you've known a guy a few months (3-8 mos) and know what they are looking for. Make sure they are on the same page as you and are looking for the same things out of life as you. Most times when you meet someone, they will put their best foot forward, but after they have known you for 3 or 4 months, then the real person starts to show. Also, let the guy chase you, and not the other way around. It's not easy being single, but it's even harder being in a terrible relationship that could have been avoided. Good luck with your daughter and with school, you sound like an intelligent young woman, I'm sure you will be fine. If you need to talk, you can always request me by name.

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Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Yes, that's very true...about the guy thing. That's why I'm not with my daughter's father.
Thank you very much =). Having Mia (my-ah) has certaintly helped in the maturing process.

You've helped out a lot, thank you. I hope to talk to you soon. Happy Thanksgiving!
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.
Ok, talk to you soon. Happy Thanksgiving to you as well.


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