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My wife & I have been having alot of arguments for the last

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My wife & I have...
My wife & I have been having alot of arguments for the last few months. We have been married for 1 year but together for 7 years. Recently it got much worse. She asked me to move out about a month ago after several severe arguments. It seemed as , though she was coming after me for everything under the sun. I did move out for a couple days then managed to get her to allow me to come back, however we continued to argue. So we discussed me moving in with my brother for a couple weeks to cool off & try to work things out. We had a great last day together but then when I moved out it was like night & day. She is saying she doesn't want to work it out. I've been having a sneaking suspicion that arecent "new" guy friend is pushing her to leave me for his own intention. I've never been a jealous guy with her & never confonted her about him until recently. She insists nothing is going on but now since I moved out, she doesn't want to work it out. How can I win her back?
Submitted: 9 years ago.Category: Relationship
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Answered in 9 minutes by:
11/15/2008
Counselor: Ms Chase, Life Coach replied 9 years ago
Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2,897
Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
Verified
Joey,

If she is seeing or sleeping with this guy, do you want to be with her still?

What were you arguing about?

What are your ages?

Chase
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Customer reply replied 9 years ago

1)If she is seeing or sleeping with this guy, do you want to be with her still? Yes. above all I Love my wife & am dedicated to making my catholic vows stick. I would say she is my best friend until recently when she shut me out. I do know that I am probably partialy to blame as I confronted her several months ago about staying out & not calling me. I tried to use divorce as a scare tactic but then told her that I didn't mean it & that it was in the heat of the argument. She seemed to be more distant since then & seemed to do alot more of the staying out all night without calling. I work nights 3 days a week so it was of particular concern.

2)What were you arguing about? The going out all night with friends & never calling me to let me know she was okay was the original argument but then she seems to pick fights now about everything from me sleeping during the day(although I work nights) to me needing anger managemment counseling ( which i was told by a counselor that I didn't) to just about everything she can conger up.

3) we are both 37

Customer reply replied 9 years ago

still waiting on reply as I am supposed to meet & speak with my wife tomorrow 11/15.

 

Counselor: Ms Chase, Life Coach replied 9 years ago
Hi Joey,

I apologize I had to step out. I think that you are correct in assuming that there may be something else going on that you don't know about (or may suspect). Her behavior is typical for someone who is cheating or at least very close to cheating. At this point, it's not a matter of winning her back because although you really want the relationship to work, its obvious she is not on the same page as you. What might work is talking to her about couples counseling, so that you could both get your issues out in the open and work on ways of coping with them. If you are supposed to meet with her tomorrow, everything inside of you is going to want to ask her to stay, ask her to get back together, and there may be a chance you could come off as needy. This is the last thing you want to do, in fact, you want to appear nonchalant about things, and be sure to act like you are fine and things are going really well for you. If possible, be sure to show up after her, not sitting there waiting for her. The best you can do is talk, see where she's coming from....you may even want to ask her flat out if she has any intention on the two of you getting back together and let her know you are looking for a straight answer, even if it hurts. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more

Warmly

Chase
Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
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