Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP
HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:
-What are your ages?
-Do you think he may be married
-Could you explain your situation a little more?Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.
He could still be married and also lives with the wife or he might just feel comfortable taking his girlfriends to hotels but you should make sure that it isn't that he is still married and his wife lives in the house. Just be careful that he isn't using you it seems like he takes his girlfriend to the hotel and never allows them to see where he lives this is typical of a married man. Either ask him why he doesn't take you to his house or ask him if he is still married or if the ex wife still lives at the house and that is why he doesn't take you to his house. Unless you want to do detective work to find out the reason which isn't a good idea because you will look like either a stalker and chase him off if he finds out or you will look as if you do not trust him and that could chase him off also. If you don't feel comfortable only going to hotels you need to communicate that to him and ask him that you feel as though he is hiding something.
It seems to be a pattern with him to take his dates to hotels maybe he could just be being careful because he meets women off of the internet because it is safer to take them there than to his house in case they are crazy or stalkers. Give it a few more months and see if things change and he starts to trust you more and takes you to his house if he doesn't then I would address the issue right now you are still getting to know each other.
Seeing that he usually takes his dates to hotels I think he is hiding something or just being safe because he meets these women on the internet. I would wait a month and then ask him about him not taking you to his home and why?
When someone has been sexually abuse they sometimes have flashbacks during intimacy and that can also add to the insecurities you have because you haven't always been treated the greatest by men. If he got upset about you asking about him not taking you to his house then it sounds like he definitely has something hide or else he wouldn't get defensive and wouldn't have a problem with answering your questions. it is up to you whether you want to continue dating him if you are okay with possibly never going to his home and only meeting him at a hotel your whole relationship because that may be why he has had so many relationship end because he will not commit enough to take them to his home. It's important that you think about whether you want a relationship like that for yourself because it sounds like he isn't going to take you to his home anytime soon and it also sounds like this is his M.O. when dating a woman.
That is all the more reason to be very careful because if he is not accessible to you at home there is something there that is keeping him from being able to communicate with you. You really have to find out why it is he can not call you and why you can not spend the night at his house. I think it's a little disrespectful to only take your dates to hotels because only people with something to hide take their dates to hotel rooms unless they have a long distance relationship. All of the signs are there that this man either has someone living with him or he is married.
I think if he saw that you had call he should have at least called you back to tell you yes or no about meeting instead of having you wait for him to be ready to call. This guy is definitely hiding something and if I were you I would find out. That is the problem sometimes with meetings someone off the internet they can always make themselves be something they truly aren't. Like a married man can pretend to be single just to get what they want. The disrespectful part of only taking your dates to hotels is that the woman feels like they only want to meet them for sex all of the time and never romancing them or making them feel special enough to take them home.
Perhaps thats why he turns off his phone at night......so in conclusion I should question him ....his not accessible and he hasnt should me his place?
In order to get your answers yes question him about what you want answers to and if he gets defensive you pretty much have your answers, he hiding something and doesn't think he has to tell you about his life which will mean that you don't mean much to him at least not enough for him to give you the answer you so need. I would also rethink continuing to date him if he can not respect you enough to both return your calls or take you to his house.
It seems as though he has double standards, he hate that you stood him up and are putting him first but he doesn't have to show you respect and take you to his house to be intimate so that you do not feel like a kept woman. I think it's time to have the talk with him about how you are feeling about everything, I think he was more upset probably because he had to find a way to make time to meet and when you didn't show he got angry but it's was because he would not call you back and you should state that to him.
Yes next time leave a voice mail but you should really think about if this guy is compatible for you, he seems a bit selfish like everything should go his way meeting in a hotel and not her house, meeting and calling only when he is ready to do so, answering your calls only when he is ready and getting mad if things don't go exactly the way he wants them. Is this someone you want to form a relationship with always feeling like he is tucking you away in some hotel?
Explain to him it was a misunderstanding and that you would never purposely blow him off it was just a lack of communication on both parts, tell him you are human and you are going to make mistakes. Ask him if the two of you can get together over the weekend so that you can talk to him about why he does not take you to his house or call you at certain times of the day or evening.
Then give him that time to cool off but I would definitely ask him and get the answers you need so that you will know if he is worth your time and you can form a relationship with him. If you feel any of my answers have been helpful please click accept so that I can get credit for my answers.