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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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i am dating someone who has a girlfriend and dont know how

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i am dating someone who has a girlfriend and don't know how to ask where I stand in his life?

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:


-What are your ages?


-How long have the two of you been dating?


-How long have you known he had a girlfriend?

-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
I am 33 and he is 27. We have been dating about three months and in the begining he did tell me he had a girlfriend and I said it wasn't a problem because I only liked him a little bit. However since then he is been so attentive to me sending me messages all the time and really likes me and I do him. I keep meaning to ask him about the girlfriend and get details about how he could like me so much if he has a girlfriend but I never have. I feel like I am liking him so much now and am not sure what to do or what to say.
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
I also think if I say anything it might ruin what we have. I haven't liked anyone like this in about 2 years so it's rare that I find anyone I am so compatible with.


It's important for you to talk to him about the girlfriend and see if they are still seeing each other because if you are having more intense feelings for him and possibly want a relationship with him then you are going to have to make sure that he is available to have a monogamist relationship with you unless you like things the way they are, if the girlfriend is still in the picture then he is going to have to make some decisions about who he wants to be with, your feelings lead me to believe that you want to be the only woman in his life and what if he doesn't want to have just one woman, that is something you have to think about because if he can start dating someone else when he is with her then he can do the same to you and you have to make sure that isn't going to happen. Right now he is having his cake and eating it too. Do you want to continue on like that? Can you be happy sharing him with someone else?


If he does leave because you were honest about your feelings then it may not have been what you needed, you need someone that is going to listen to your feelings no matter what those feelings are and you say he is attentive of you then he should be able to understand your feelings and what you want. First, ask him about his girlfriend, how long they have been dating, whether or not it is serious, is there children involved. Second tell him how you feel about him and what you want out of the relationship. Third find out if he is capable of having a monogamist relationship with a female. If you are tired of being second best then it's time for you to put your feeling out there or continue to live with the uncertainties of where you stand in the relationship that the two of you have.

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