Relationship

Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Relationship

My girlfriend decided a few days ago that she doesnt want

Customer Question
My girlfriend decided a few...
My girlfriend decided a few days ago that she doesn't want to be in a relationship at the moment because it reminds her of all the problems they bring with them. So she asked if we could stay friends I said no sorry I can't be with you as just friends, then I phoned her up a few days later and I cried f**king hard, so did she, she sent a text message to her friend saying how she still loves me and can't stand seeing me like this. yet when I went over to her she says: What do you want me to do? Be in a relationship with you while I dont want to? I'm so confused and really depressed, she's my 1st real love and I guess that's what is making it so much harder.
Submitted: 9 years ago.Category: Relationship
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Answered in 2 minutes by:
11/8/2008
Counselor: KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert replied 9 years ago
KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
Verified

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:

 

-What are your ages?

 

-How long did the two of you date?

 

-Are you her first love or has she dated before?


-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 9 years ago
We went out as good friends for 4 months, we slept togheter(not sex) watched movies etc we where togheter alot. We where a couple for 3 months after that.

I'm 19 almost 20 she's 18 almost 19

She has dated before as I said she said that she's not ready to go trough all those problems that she had with her other boyfriend.

The situation is blurry for me. I love her alot. She just sent me a text message once saying how maybe its better that we should stay friends, I said, I'm sorry thats not enough for me, i wouldn't be able to just be with you as a friend. Whenever I see her now I cry knowing that she's not "mine". I said everything to her about how I feel and if she really isn't ready to give it a little chance? Her answer kept beeing no, not ready. Yet she tells her friend that she still loves me and can't stand seeing me like this. :(
Customer reply replied 9 years ago
Oh yes also I want to send her messages every day but everyone keeps telling me not to and just let her see how she likes life without me, if she'll miss me she should come back
Counselor: KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert replied 9 years ago
Customer

 

Sadly you can not make someone stay with you if they are ready to spread their wings and that is what it sounds like it is with her she has been in serious relationship at a young age and hasn't really given herself time to have fun and just enjoy life and I think that is why she doesn't want a serious relationship because she is young and doesn't feel that she could do that being with you. She would have to answer to you for whatever she wants to do. She pretty much wants to sow her oats what you are going to have to do if love her enough to let her go and if things were meant to be she will come back but if they weren't then maybe it will be time for you to find closure in the relationship and start to get out dating again but only when you are ready. You have asked her several times to give it another chance and each time the answer was no, I think her mind is made up for now.

 

Hopefully she will get in the dating scene and see that things aren't as fun as she thought they would be. Give her time to have her fun maybe a couple of months and then go to her again and see if she hasn't changed her mind and if she still wants to be single and have fun then you are going to have to move on and start healing from this , start out slowly just go out with friend to movies or dinner or do things you like to do hobbies, interests, you have to keep your mind off of her and if you stay by yourself then all you will do is think about her constantly and that isn't a good thing. My question to you is wouldn't you rather have her in your life as friend than to not have her in your life at all but if it will hurt you to see her and not be with her then that is your decision to make and you know how much you can handle and how much you can not.

 

Just give her a couple months and talk to her again and see if she hasn't changed her mind and then start the healing process if she hasn't change her mind and doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 9 years ago
Thing is we werent dooing anything serious. I asked if she bored herself in the relationship and maybe we needed to do more stuff? I also said I was as happy as I can be with how things where as they were. A couple of months without her is going to be hell for me. :(
Counselor: KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert replied 9 years ago
Customer

 

I understand it's going to be difficult but you don't want to keep pressuring her into staying with you or being more than she wants to be that will only make her want to be without you more that is why you have to have patience and give her the time she wants what would be harder a few months or a lifetime without her, if she sees you are willing to give her time and be patient she may see that you may be the one for her and may come back but if she feel you do not respect her enough to give her the time she needed and she may never come back.

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 9 years ago
Yeah I guess I will. I've stopped sending messages since today, thats what all my friends told me to do. She quit her job to, we worked at the same place. No one believed that we were done, her sister said we where great togheter, everyone that saw us togheter said that we looked so happy when we where arround eachother. She told me how much she loved me each day, jesus christ I'm starting to cry just writing this. I just don't get how she can go from loving me that much to not wanting anything.

And her telling her girlfriend that she still loves me is what makes this situation so weird :(
Counselor: KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert replied 9 years ago
This answer is protected
Would you like to ask this question?
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Ask KimberlyF Your Own Question
KimberlyF
KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
750 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com

KimberlyF is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Counselor

1,720 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ms Chase

Ms Chase

Life Coach

853 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Psychotherapist

468 satisfied customers

Specializing in relationship/family counseling

Dr. Norman Brown

Dr. Norman Brown

Marriage Therapist

427 satisfied customers

Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

366 satisfied customers

Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.

Suzanne

Suzanne

Therapist, LCSW

338 satisfied customers

Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

DrJackiePhD

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

338 satisfied customers

I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

< Previous | Next >

Related Relationship Questions
I would like to know something. My wife of 35 yrs received a
my wife of 35 yrs received a very intimate necklace fro m anoth er women and she told her she was drawing inspiration from her just by wearing it what does that mean … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
Mine is a pretty tricky but story. So I met this guy on
Hi Debra, Mine is a pretty tricky but long story. So I met this guy on Tinder, he was lovely. Our first date was amazing... we spoke for three weeks 24/7 before actually meeting up. There was an insta… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
I have trouble getting along with my husband. We has mood
I have trouble getting along with my husband. We has mood swings. He is about to start a new job at a branch of Verizon (used to work at another branch) so we were talking in the car and he said he ha… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
My boyfriend and I fought over him maybe talking to his ex,
My boyfriend and I fought over him maybe talking to his ex, I kept texting him till he said leave me alone and then broke up with me.. can I get him back … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 5 months and I love
me and my boyfriend have been dating for 5 months and I love him dearly, well on Tuesday something happened when I was texting one of my guy friends I didn't physically cheat on him, and there was no … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
I have a new man in my life I have been dating for about 6
Jen, I have a new man in my life I have been dating for about 6 weeks. We see each other twice a week. He deeply cares for me and loves me. I also have love for him. I struggle with his immaturity. So… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
While telling me he is in love with someone else, he says he
While telling me he is in love with someone else, he says he cares about me. … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
I have seen ads for professional snugglers, cuddlers, and
I have seen ads for professional snugglers, cuddlers, and cuddle clubs. Is this a bad idea to be touching someone who you don't know and have no specific reason to care about? My wife and I experience… read more
CounselorJules
CounselorJules
Licensed Professional Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
56 satisfied customers
I found out my time boyfriend had a nine month affair with
I found out my long time boyfriend had a nine month affair with younger girl at work..fell in love with her and wanted to start a life..I contacted new girlfriend (who did not know about me..she fille… read more
S. August Abbott
S. August Abbott
Etiquette consultant
Doctoral Degree
260 satisfied customers
I have a question that pertains to compromising in a
Hi,I have a question that pertains to compromising in a marriage. I'll start by saying when I meant my wife I was open to moving out of state. We got married and last year my company relocated to NC f… read more
P. Simmons
P. Simmons
Attorney
Doctoral Degree
35,267 satisfied customers
I married into a bunch of nieces and nephews on my husband's
Hello, I married into a bunch of nieces and nephews on my husband's side. Some of the nieces are my age or older, so it is not as if we have had a history together. They were already adults when we me… read more
Schuyler
Schuyler
1,944 satisfied customers
I have a question that pertains to compromising in a
Hi, I have a question that pertains to compromising in a marriage. I'll start by saying when I meant my wife I was open to moving out of state. We got married and last year my company relocated to NC … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
I'm going to try and make this as short as i can. So about 3
OK so i'm going to try and make this as short as i can. So about 3 and a half months ago me and my girlfriend of a year broke up. The reason being was i cheated on her, i didn't meet up with anyone, k… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
I have no mother in law experience for various reasons and
I have no mother in law experience for various reasons and am in my mid 50s. Do I need help?… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
I need to apologize to the love of my life. Im a gay man I
Im a gay man I hurt my boyfriends feeling repeatedly … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
My guy friend says he doesn't deserve me. But then tells me
My guy friend says he doesn't deserve me. But then tells me he's afraid of losing me. He tells me I'm around too much then when I leave says stay. He's nice and cinsuferste one day then the next he's … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
My long-time partner has never gotten over the fact that I
My long-time partner has never gotten over the fact that I had prior sexual experience. I used to think it was insecurity on his part but he honestly hasn't been able to become aroused by me since fin… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
How are you? I have been in a relationship with a 50 year
I have been in a relationship with a 50 year old woman. She seamed all into one me butt she started to get flakey. She didn't show up a couple of times. I asked her if she was seeing someone else. She said no. We have stopped seeing each other and I keep texting. She reading them and sometimes replies. It's almost like she don't respect me. What do I do? … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x