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Ask TherapistMaryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1701
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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I have been with my husband for 6 years now. Last night, I

Customer Question

I have been with my husband for 6 years now. Last night, I discovered that he looks at trashy girly pictures on the internet. When confronted with it, he said that he does that when I am away and he misses me. I find that hard to believe because the dates on those pictures are of days that I am at home asleep. He then said it's nothing. I would believe him, but I'm the one that goes to bed alone on most nights when he is in his office "working". Tired of being a single married person.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.

Does he work from home?

What are your ages?

How did you discover this?

Are you dissatisfied with your sex life?

Have you ever told him?

Customer: replied 8 years ago.

90% of the time he does work from home.

I am 39 he is 49

I was looking for some pictures which I thought we had deleted, so I checked in the deleted items box

He says he is fine and satisfied with our sex life. I am not. I get this feeling that he wants sex when we have somewhere to be or an appointment of some sort. I am up for it anytime, but not when I have a prior commitment somewhere. So to me it's as if he is setting me up. On most nights, I go to bed alone. I usually try to be in bed by 10 or 11. He says that his brain works better later at night that's why he stays up so late. OK. But sometimes, it just so happens that I am up at 12 or 1 and still go to bed alone.

Unsure and not clear any more.

Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.
Thank you for that additional info, may I ask

Would you be upset about him looking at the pictures if you sex life was fully satisfied?

Have either of you ever cheated?

So you discuss sex, talk about it, try new things?

Customer: replied 8 years ago.

I know for certain that these pictures would not bother me if my sex life was fully satisfied.

I have never cheated. I know he had cheated on his first wife, 20 years ago.

We discuss it and talk about. However, how can we try new things when we can't even sleep together when I am still awake. We recently came back from a 5 day vacation in Scottsdale. No work, nothing holding us back. By chance we woke up together and fell asleep together. We had one episode of making love - that's it. Awhile back, I tried to make advances, but it was either not the right time or he was busy with something. He wants me to make advances, but when I do, it's not the right time.