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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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my wife is so horrible in bed and I have already asked her

Resolved Question:

my wife is so horrible in bed and I have already asked her to try to get better I mean I personaly am always looking for a way to make myself better in bed for her but she doesnt seem to show the same enthusiasim. She just like laying on her back and having me do all the work all the time! we have already talked about this ....what do I do help!!!
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:


-What are your ages?


-How long have you been married?


-Has she always been this way?

-How long have you been talking to her about this problem?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.

I am 24 and she is 21

1month togeather total of 21/2 years been sexualy active for 2 years with each other

yes but she always gives some lame reason like its too hard or something like that at first I accepted it but I am starting to get tired of it about like I said I try really had to be the best I can for her vut I cannot get the same thing back


4-5 months

Customer: replied 8 years ago.

1 month married

togeather 2 1/2 years


sorry got sloppy there

Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.


This seems like an ongoing problems that even before the marriage you had a problem with, to be honest this was something that should have been discussed before the wedding because now she has your ring and feels even more like she doesn't have to do much because she already has her man and that isn't a healthy way for her to think because that could doom your marriage, she has to realize that just because you get married doesn't mean you no long have to keep your man interested that is a common mistake that many couples make and they don't realize that the fact that they are married now is all the more reason to keep things exciting and new.


Try asking her to: XXXXX XXXXX things to bed like lingerie or negligees or even nothing at all instead of frumpy t-shirts and cover ups.Tell her that you want more romance even if it's a sensual massage or foreplay that can heat things up in the bedroom. Try being spontaneous with her try being intimate other places besides the bedroom this may get her more into it. If she has an idea of what you want maybe she will be more willing to do it, ask her to try it starting at once a week and then increasing if she enjoyed it. Marriage is about compromise and she has to realize that she is not doing her part. Ask her to do a different sensual thing ever once and a while just to spice things up. Don't keep score don't keep telling her what you do for her and that you want something in return then it will seem like a chore and she will not want to do it. No woman wants to do something that their mate makes it seem is her chore she has enough chores taking care of the household.


If you have tried explaining this to your wife and still she does nothing it may be time to maybe consult a Marriage counselor to help work this out with your wife because it seems as though the marriage in your eyes is already in trouble and you sound as though you are at your wits end with this and don't know how else to communicate this with your wife.

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