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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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I was recently reconnected with a girl from my past, for a

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I was recently reconnected with a girl from my past, for a month we had been having dinner, talking and it was going really great. We went out and she had a little to much to drink and really told me all about how she fells about me and we were intimate, she was very persistant. Everything she said was good things about how she thinks i'm what she needs and she likes hanging out with me and everything we do. Every since that night she has been really distant and we hardly talk now. She still messages me out of nowhere and says hi or ask if a party i was supposed to go to actually happened. She is in the process of moving back to her parents house and i know she is really busy but i would still like to know something or atleast talk to me. Do you think she is still interested? I've decided to just give her time and space. I haven't talked to her in 5 days now. Should I just leave it that way or what do you think is going on with her?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:


-What are your ages?


-How long ago did you date before?


-How serious were the two of you when you dated before?


-When you do talk to her does she sound like she is interested?

-Are you sure she isn't married or seeing someone else?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Hey, we are both 27 I've only seen her once since high school, that was 2 years ago at a funneral, we have been out of school for 9 years. We have never dated before but I had a crush on her in high school. We have just been talking for a month before this happened. I've thought about her over the years and she said she has thought about me and even wished when I saw her at that funeral that I would have called her somehow. She seemed very interested during that month leading up to that night and she seems to keep checking in on me to let me know she is still there, its almost like so I won't just leave. She lives with the father of her child, she told me they were trying to work it out for her kids sake but it didn't work out they only lived together for a month before they decided to cancel the lease on the house. They have to move out by the 1st of November. She says she doesn't love him but I know she has dated him on and off since she was 18 and she has only mentioned one other guy in that whole span. I don't know if she had true feeling and really likes me, but she is scared and embaressed. She have never been married, she told me that night she was drinking that she thought i was what her and her son needed in thier lives and everything was possitive things about me. The only time it was weird that night was that she said she felt guilty that her son's dad knew she was with me and she said it shouldn't matter because she doesn't love him but she just feels guilty. I kind of thought of myself and it would be a little weird feeling. Since that night I've tried to call her, message her to let her know I had a great time, she said she doesn't remember leaving one place and until i took her home (which is when she said all these things) I waited a couple days and told her if she wanted to grab some lunch on the weekend just give me a call and she said she had a lot to do that weekend, That monday morning she sent me a message saying "just wanted to say hi, I had a busy but good weekend and she hoped I was feeling better" I waited a couple days before I responded and told her about my busy week and ask how her son was and that if she wanted to grab a quick lunch give me a call. She didn't call that weekend either but sent me a text asking if I went to a party that I was telling her about like 3 weeks before, I told her about it because it was with some friends that always cancel the plans and she knew them from high school. We texted for a few mins and that was all. So I texted her on monday and told her I was glad i didn't make huge plans because it didn't ever happen and we texted for a few mins, when i told her she could call me if she wanted she said her and her son were watching a movie and have a good night. So I have not talked to her now since Monday night, this is the longest we have gone without texting at all. I've decided just to give her space while she goes through all this moving and figuring out what she wants. Is this the right thing to do and if so how long do i let her go before making any contact with her? I don't know what she would say hi and ask me about that party if she didn't care or anything right?
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.


It seems to me that she is just trying to find closure in her relationship with her child's father and the fact that she is moving is just keeping her busy, show her that you are there for her and will be there for her until she is ready. Yes you are right she needs time to adjust to everything and get moved into to her parents I'm sure after everything is said and done she will contact you but just don't stop talking to her show her that you are still interested in getting reacquainted with her and possibly take her and her son out to dinner or a movie or something fun. I would give her a week to two weeks after she moves in with her parents and then ask her. She may just have a lot of different emotions right now about ending a long term relationship and where she wants things to go with you and she may be confused because her son's father is all she has known except for the one guy you mentioned it takes a lot to get over those feelings. So just give her some time but don't blow it still keep in contact with her even if it's just to ask how things are going and to tell her that she is on your mind. You let two opportunities go (high school and the funeral) don't let this one go also.

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Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Hey, Thanks. So do you think she really meant what she said and is really interested in me? I had no clue how she felt at the funeral so I just thought it was really nice to see her again. I feel like we kind of have a history together even though before a month ago we never really hung out. For her to tell me she missed me over the years and that "i'm the only one from high school she really misses" that has to mean something right? How much longer should I wait before i tell her hey and hope everything is going well, do I wait till sometime next week or do it on Monday?   I really appreciate your advice, I've never felt like this about a girl and went though so much stress and wondered so much about how she felt. I'm usually the type to just move on and not worry but this one I am. It's really a weird feeling for me. I just want to be friends with her like we were before that night. She has just been so distant, I hope its because she has feelings for me and just is scared right now. I turely just want to be able to see her and hang out again. I want things to go slow but I think that night really moved fast and alot happened that might have scared her or something. I mean something obviously changed that night because she has been really distant since, but since she still trys to stay in contact, i'm hope means that she does think of me. The text she sent about the party, she had to be thinking about me to remember that.   It wasn't just a hey how are you, but it was something that we talked about several weeks before that she had to think about.

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