Relationship

Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Relationship

i have been wih my boyfriend 14 months. he lied to me about

Customer Question
talking to other girls behind...
i have been wih my boyfriend 14 months. he lied to me about talking to other girls behind my back and i have found pictures of other girls on his laptop. i give him every opportunity to tell me the truth but he lies. he has gone off sex and almost all contact with me and is like he cant even be bothered to see me. he says he loves me and i have given him every chance to walk away from the relationship but he chooses not to every time. i dont know what to do any more i really love him but i dont trust him and it upsets me all the time
Submitted: 9 years ago.Category: Relationship
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Answered in 2 minutes by:
10/5/2008
Counselor: KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert replied 9 years ago
KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
Verified

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:

 

-What are your ages?

 

-Are they picture of girls online or girls he actually knows?

 

-Is this a committed relationdship?


-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 9 years ago
hi
im 18 and he has just turned 22
they are pictures of girls he speaks to online as faras i know he hasnt met any of them. there was a picture of a girl in her underwear but he claimes he has nothing to do with it and that his friends or younger brother could. he has admited now to talking to girls but said it was nothing bad and wasnt flirting i jst dont understand why he lied about it at first also he had another email address and the pasword was his exs name he wouldnt tell me the pasword when i know them for everything else and i eventualy guesed it. i feel bad for going behind his back but i feel if i dont he will continue to lie to me and i wont find anything out
i think its commited i would never do anything behind his back i dont know why things have gone bad we use to be amazing together and like best friends aswell we could tell each other anything and i trusted him with my life. we were friends for 8 months before we got together and were perfect together until about 5 months ago we have had sex about 4 times since then when we use to all the time.
Counselor: KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert replied 9 years ago
Customer

 

You need to tell your boyfriend your concerns especially about the lack of sex lately, ask him if you are not enough anymore. Tell him you feel as though things have changed and not for the better. You may want to tell him that you got into his email and ask him about all of the girls but if you feel that will create another riff between the two of you then don't tell him but if you do not tell him about it that will make you no better than his lies. Trust and communication and sex are a necessity in a relationship and it doesn't seem like you have any of those right now and something has to change or else the relationship is in major jeopardy and won't last much longer. Tell him you want to trust him but with everything you've found out he is making it very hard to do that. There has to be something going on that your sex life has dwindled a bit it could be because he may be finding other means online, like porn or cyber and you won't really know that unless he is honest with you about that.

 

If you can not get him to tell you anything and be honest with you that may mean you need to give him an ultimatum and stick by that ultimatum so that he knows you're serious and mean what you say, he has to know that you are fed up with the way things have been between the two of an d can't take much more.

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 9 years ago
he knows i found out about the girls and that i have been on his other email i told him thats when he said that he had spoke to other girls but said that it was not in any way bad. i dont understand if i am not good enough that he has to flirt with other girls and look at their pictured why is he still with me. i askd him this and he said i am good enough he hasnt gone to other girls and that if he didnt want to be with me then he wouldnt be and he loves me. i just dont understand. he said i have become obsesive but i cant see how we see/speak to each other less now than we ever have before. i have tried talking to him about it and he just gets mad tells me im being paranoyed and that i need to chill out. but i know for a fact that if i spoke to a boy he would go mad. i told him i had seen my friend who i have grown up with since we were babies, he had just come back from afganistan with the army and my boyfriend said that i neednt bother speaking to him agen and got all angry with me for speaking to him i have known him 18 years he is more like my brother than anything else
Counselor: KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert replied 9 years ago
Customer

 

If he expects you to respect him and not talk to other men then he has to have respect for you also and stop talking to other females he can not be a hypocrite and tell you what to do and then tell you that you are being possessive when you give him the same treatment. If you do not have concrete proof that he is doing anything else other than just talking to these female the only choice you have until he gives you reason to doubt him is being just friends with these girls you have to trust him and show him that you trust him. If you didn't read anything inappropriate then you have to believe that he is being honorable. If he will not change his ways as far as all the other females are concerned then you may have to rethink if you want to be in a relationship with him it's not fair for him to tell you stop talking to someone you have known for so long and is like a brother to you but I think he may have issue with the fact that he is not related to you and he is of the opposite sex, either way with all of the females he talks to he should not have a problem with someone that is like family to you.

 

Tell him he says he loves you then he has to start showing you through his actions and having respect that he is with you and not talk to so many females when he has you. Tell him you need to feel wanted and needed by him and that sex is important part of that need.

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 9 years ago
i know at first i use to get really worried that he was going to leave me bt he didnt he stuck around and we were/are amazing its just all this i dont know what to do/think. i have told him i want to be able 2 trust him and that i h8 all this. he does music as a hobby and is quite well known for it around hear. he has been asked to go on tour around the uk supporting a big US hip hop group. i am really worried that he might get up to something while he is away, i dont know weather he will as his brother and best friend who get on with really well are going to but if he does i wont ever know and i know he enjoys the attention. i cant go i have to work but also the dates are not for certain but it could be over my birthday he didnt even seem bothered.
Counselor: KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert replied 9 years ago
THIS ANSWER IS LOCKED!
You can view this answer by clicking here to Register or Login and paying $3.
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Ask KimberlyF Your Own Question
KimberlyF
KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
750 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com

KimberlyF is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Counselor

1,706 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ms Chase

Ms Chase

Life Coach

853 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Psychotherapist

468 satisfied customers

Specializing in relationship/family counseling

Dr. Norman Brown

Dr. Norman Brown

Marriage Therapist

426 satisfied customers

Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

366 satisfied customers

Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.

Suzanne

Suzanne

Therapist, LCSW

338 satisfied customers

Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

DrJackiePhD

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

336 satisfied customers

I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

< Previous | Next >

Related Relationship Questions
My husband and I have been together for 5 years and married
My husband and I have been together for 5 years and married just under a year. We have lived together for 3 years. I have 2 children from a previous marriage and he has 2 children from a previous marr… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
166 satisfied customers
My husband, toddler & I moved in with my in-laws house, in
My husband, toddler & I moved in with my in-laws house, in husbands home “village” after independent city life since graduating as a pharmacist 20+ years ago. I was a high achiever in everything I did… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
950 satisfied customers
Our 16 yr old grandaughter who always was close to us told
Our 16 yr old grandaughter who always was close to us told us we are a distraction to her now. We don't know how to talk to her because she only likes to txt and everything we say seems to be the wron… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
166 satisfied customers
Dispair! My 12 yo step-daughter repeatedly takes things that
Dispair! My 12 yo step-daughter repeatedly takes things that do not belong to her (my old cell phone, several of my rings, neighbor girl's shoes) and lies about it. Like one of the other readers, she … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
166 satisfied customers
My daughter is influenced by her no good boyfriend and made
my daughter is influenced by her no good boyfriend and made her call me a c unt a crakwhore and other things. I am at my end. I told her that I don't want to see her again until he is out of the pictu… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
166 satisfied customers
I am upset and worried because my boyfriend and I are not
Hello, I am upset and worried because my boyfriend and I are not getting along anymore. I read a book and realized that he is using verbal abuse to supposedly help me but all he does is make me feel w… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
950 satisfied customers
My boyfriend and I broke up less than a month ago. I tried
Hi! my boyfriend and I broke up less than a month ago. I tried to make things work between us but he didn't want to, although he still loves me! Anyway, after two weeks of trying to convince to be tog… read more
Rosemary S.
Rosemary S.
Master\u0027s Degree
6 satisfied customers
What is the proper way for a widower to introduce his girl
What is the proper way for a widower to introduce his girl friend to his mother in law? … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
166 satisfied customers
I am a 61 year old divorced female who has been in a been
This question is for Cher. Hi- I am a 61 year old divorced female who has been in a been living with the same man for 9 1/2 years. We have had some problems off and on in the last year - he moved out … read more
Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane
Doctoral Degree
385 satisfied customers
My mother, four year old daughter and I are I assume
My mother, four year old daughter and I are I assume kidnapped since I don't remember how we got to the house that the dream started in, in this house we were all in the same room locked up together, … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
166 satisfied customers
She knew my thoughts about Netherlands. I say thoughts
Hello,Yes, she knew my thoughts about Netherlands. I say thoughts because I was not certain, and she was telling me that she is maybe moving to Malta for 3 months. That was the first problem from the … read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
I was in a relationship with this girl for a year. It was
Hey so i was in a relationship with this girl for a year. It was extremely serious and we were planning on getting married. Its kind of a crazy situation. Would you like me to explain. … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
950 satisfied customers
My sister's husband just got married in a "very private"
My sister's husband just got married in a "very private" ceremony .(My sister passed away 5 years ago.) I was not invited, but received an announcement. How much should I spend on a wedding gift? I am… read more
Rosemary S.
Rosemary S.
Master\u0027s Degree
6 satisfied customers
What's the fastest, healthiest way to process through grief
What's the fastest, healthiest way to process through grief during an ongoing, dragged out divorce? What's the best way to keep esteem high if the other party is highly negative, miserable, depressed,… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
166 satisfied customers
I fell in love with a woman that has emotional baggage and
I fell in love with a woman that has emotional baggage and is not ready to give her hart right now … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
166 satisfied customers
Back on 7/28/2012, I requested that with me today to see if
Dear psychlady, Back on 7/28/2012, I requested that you follow up with me today to see if my issue was resolved. If I give you a positive rating for this follow-up, JustAnswer will pay you since it's … read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master\u0027s Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
I hope this doesn't sound bad, but it will, lol! I am
Jen, I hope this doesn't sound bad, but it will, lol ! I am continuing to date him but he knows I am not as committed as him in the relationship and that I am bothered by his pushiness and do not have… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
950 satisfied customers
The guy who came to my house on a second date is asking to
Hi Jen The guy who came to my house on a second date is asking to spend time with me again on the weekend. I did not yet reply. He said that this time he will bring his guitar. I am confused. I have m… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
950 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x