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im 25 yrs old and engaged but now i love a man who is 40 yrs

i'm 25 yrs old and...
i'm 25 yrs old and engaged but now i love a man who is 40 yrs now i'm held up in a confusing state which hinders my routine n affects my day to day life. what should i do?
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Answered in 5 minutes by:
10/2/2008
Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2,897
Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
Verified
Hello sharvari

The 40 year old is not your fiance?

How long have you been with your fiance?

How long have you known the 40 yr old?

How did you meet him?

Does he know you're engaged?

Have you been intimate with him?

Do you still want to get married?

How is it hindering your life?

Chase
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Customer reply replied 9 years ago
no the 40 yr is not my fiancee i'm staying with my fiancee since 8 months and i met that 40 yr man at my work place where i used to work and after my inclination of getting married is reducing actually there were many conflicts with my fiancee goin on but now things are a bit cool n comparatively less conflicts but now i can't get away from that 40yr man n he loves me very much 2
Customer reply replied 9 years ago

i met my fiancee when i was doin my graduation n i'm an indian so parents got us engaged but now his parents r a bit odd not so concerned about our marriage n because of them my fiancee also thinks the same..because of that many conflicts took place between me n my fiancee. n the 40 yr man i've been seeing him from last 7 months n yes also have been intimate with him....now it is a state that both the guys r very dependant on me n being an indian family its not very easy to break a relation but i dont want to leave that 40 year man too coz i do love him.

Hello Shavari,

How are they very dependant on you, do you mean financially or emotionally?

chase
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Customer reply replied 9 years ago
emotionally
Sharvari,

Although I understand the problem you are going through, you only have two options. You can choose to be with both men, or you have to make a choice. It's fine to be in love or to love someone, but you must take your life and your goals into consideration. It's also not fair to lead your husband on if you do not plan on being with him, it would be best to let him go and allow him to find a woman who will love him and want to marry him, the same goes for your lover. If you decide to stay with both of them, eventually something will give....your husband will want to move forward with the marriage, you lover will get jealous eventually and possibly contact your husband, you could get pregnant, you could get caught....

The best thing to do is to make a list. Write down the good and bad aspects of both men, and make a decision. Thats not to say that you will make the right decision....only time will tell. But look at the past of both men, the things they have done or not done, look at what your future will be like with either of them, but most of all, ask yourself how you feel. Who do you love, and if you say both, who do you love more. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.

Chase
Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2,897
Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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Ms Chase
Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2,897
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