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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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To cut a long story short, I met this guy about year ago I

Customer Question

To cut a long story short, I met this guy about year ago I knew he liked me and over the months I had grown to like him too (but because he had a girlfriend so nothing happened) but me being me I decided to tell him how I felt (first time of doing anything like that)
so told him I knew he liked me as well!
Well he was really angry so instead of say yes I liked too or no I don’t like you –he accused me of being a suspect, which I asked him to explain but he didn’t so told him to have a nice life and left it at that.

I am in touch with his family and his mum asked me to baby sit for him, and he seemed happy about the arrangement, but nervous or shy as it was the first we’ve seen each other since our argument but thank me for helping him out.

About a month later I got one of his company’s brochure (which was sent about 5 weeks after our argument) and in it he had taken into account a suggestion I had made.
I rang to thank him for it but he was away , and he got back I sent him an email but he didn’t reply.

When I mentioned this to his mum, she said his MD may have sent the brochure to me as he sends them out,    but this guy is the only one that I gave my address to, I did meet his MD and exchanged a few emails with him about work that’s all.

In the mean time my relationship with his family has become really strong , and I’ve been introduced to his brothers (who’s comments indicates that they’ve heard of me before meeting me) their wives and children.

I have always felt bad our argument, and every time his name came up in conversation I felt so ashamed so I decided to apologise and rang and left him a message but he hasn’t reply---- could he is still be angry about our argument? Please help, I’m confused about this Thanks
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.

How did you meet him?

What are your ages?

Customer: replied 8 years ago.

we met through a family member of his


I'm 35 and he is 36

Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.
I wouldn't automatically assume that he's still angry about the argument, but he may be trying to distance himself from you so, if he doesn't feel the same way about you, he may be not trying to lead you on. If he did like you 'like that', you wouldn't have to wonder, he would have done or said things to let you know that he did like you. But as you said, he is involved with someone, so he may not be trying to affect his current relationship, and even if his family did hear about you, it may be because of that first incident, and not because he's talking about you to them. I would keep my distance for a while, and just leave it be. If he wants to talk or be involved, he will do it. You've already left a message for him, and he's decided not to respond, so I would leave it at that. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.



Hi thanks for your comments they do make a lot of sense


First, this guy is longer involved with anyone


But I don't understand why this guy's family want to be nice, caring and respectful to towards me if they knew about our argument??


And why his parents would want to invite me and my children to their home for dinners?


I used to see his mum about every 2 weeks but now she rings me about every few day

For coffee or if I've been out with friends she will want to know all about it.


Last week his mum admitted that she updates her son regularly on everything ,eg what happens when I'm with her.


His dad talks to me a lot more now and would sometime put friendly arm around me.


His parents have even offered to look after my children ----while I use their son's Villa for a holiday , (knowing full well I can't go alone).


They have also made comments like- their grandson being a little brother for my son and daughter, this guy has been there when this was said., this is just a little of what's happen since I last was this guy and I am confused by it all. Would appreciate your comments please, thanks


Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.
Hello Mary,

It wouldn't be the first time that a family has been in love with a girl that the son wasn't. So that is definitely something to consider. Keep in mind that it doesn't matter how good his family treats you if you are interested in him, what matters is how he treats you. No matter what, you can still be friendly with his family and enjoy being around them, but only he can show/tell you how he feels. Sometimes it works in your favor when the family likes you, and sometimes it can work against you, because the son won't accept someone that the family likes so much. There's no way to tell how he feels except to wait it out and see if he makes a move at some point. When you do run across him, simply act like you don't really care. Do not ask about him when talking to his family, and if they do talk about him, change the subject, or feign indifference ("oh that's nice" and change the subject) After a while he may get the feeling that you're not paying him attention anymore, and if he does like you, it should cause him to step up to the plate for fear of losing you.