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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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Hi,I really need some advice,any help would be gratefully recieved.Im

Customer Question

Hi,I really need some advice,any help would be gratefully recieved.Im a 22yo guy & have been seeing a 25yo mother of 1 for about 6-7 months.Things started off well,I wasn't really serious about her at the start but I did start to grow feelings for her.Now 6-7 months down the line I feel like ive been pushed into a lot,I was pushed into meeting her parents & she pushed to meet mine.She wants to spend 24hours a day with me & if I plan to go out with my friends,she'll get really funny with me & do everything to stop me by making me feel guilty.I like my space & time alone but she wants to be involved in anythin & everything I do.I feel like I can't breathe.I also have a lot of women friends, just of recent me & my girl broke up for about a day but in that time my ex put a message on facebook sayin that she still loves me & shes glad I broke up. My gf seen this & now wants me to cut contact wiv my ex even tho were good friends. I feel like i'm in a catch 22 and don't know what to do.
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 9 years ago.


You're not in a Catch 22 if you did not make any kind of committment to her and are not planning on marrying her soon, you are still in the dating phase of things so that doesn't make you obligated to her. You need to sit her down and tell her how you are feeling and that you feel as though she is moving too fast and if she gets angry and breaks up with you again then maybe it just wasn't meant to be for the two of you. It seem like she wants to control every aspect of your life including friends and who you talk toand who you socialize with. That is why you have to do something now and not wait for it to get worse, like her making you lose all of your friend to the point where you only have her. If you do not tell her now she will take it as you being okay with the way she is acting and it is clearly not okay.


Although I can understand her being upset that your ex told you she still loved you she has to have trust in you and the relationship or else the relationship won't last very long. It's time for you to be totally honest with her now about how you have been feeling and let things take their course and if she can no handle it then maybe she isn't the right one for you after all.

Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Thanx for your advice, its a big help. Just dont know what to do about my ex, we've known each other since we were in school and were really good friends, I dont want to cut her out my life. But if I dont my girls gonna say well obviously you dont love me like you say you do etc.. I feel stuck as I don't want to hurt either of them.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 9 years ago.


Talk to your ex also and tell her you don't love her but you care about her as a friend and tell her that her writing that on your facebook caused alot of problems in your relationship and that you care about your current girlfriend and want to make it work with her, tell her you don't want to lose her as friend but that is all it can be right now. This way you are being honest yet hopefully not hurting her feelings. Explain to your girlfriend that you talked to the ex and told her that is wasn't cool that she was trying to cause problems in your relationship but I must say this may not be the last attempt your ex tries to break the two of you up so be very careful.