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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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My son who is 26 is recently engaged to a woman who has 2 children.

Customer Question

My son who is 26 is recently engaged to a woman who has 2 children. Every since they have been together I have not cared for her, she is very controlling. When they first started dating she was pregnant with someone elses baby ( had an abortion ) and her 2 children were living with her grandparents, while she was partying Hard. My son, previously to dating her, had just ended a 7 yr. relationship; I really feel that he didn't give himself enough time to heal from that relationship before becoming involved with his fiance. I don't want to be one of those mothers and I'm trying HARD to be supportive, but I just have a really BAD feeling about this whole relationship. On top of all this, right before they got engaged and he bought her a huge engagement ring, I took a second mortgage on my home to help him get out of alot of debt he had. He has not been able to keep a steady job; was just fired 2 weeks ago from his last job. Help!! I love him dearly
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 9 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:


-How long have they been dating?


-How long have they been engaged?


-Did your son know she was pregnant with someone else's baby?


-Have you voiced your concerns to your son?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 9 years ago.
They have been dating for a year and a half. They have been engaged for a month and a half. They apparently slept together their first date; then shortly there after she told him she was pregnant; he was freaked out that it might be his, but she was too far along for it to possibly be his. I keep trying to spend some time alone with him so I can really talk with him, but I feel that she keeps coming up with things that he HAS to do, and he never seems to be able to get together with me. He is normally not a person who lets people tell him what to do either.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 9 years ago.




You need to talk to your son and tell him your concerns for the relationship he has with this woman. Her being pregnant when they met should have been a huge red flag for him but we have to allow our children to make their own mistake and learn from them. If she doesn't have much to offer him in the way of emotionally then it may purely be sexual. She seems to like to control her men to the point that they need no one but her in their lives and she may be slowly trying to alienate him from you so that you can not cause problems for them or be involved in their lives. Depending upon who broke up with whom, you may be right that he didn't give himself time to heal from the break up and find himself again before he jumped into this relationship. It's important that you talk to your son in order for you to have peace of mind about this woman and her intentions with your son. Plan a lunch when you know she will be working or won't be around and then voice your concerns and tell him you wouldn't interfere if you didn't love him and care about him. He can do one of two things: Appreciate that you care about him or get angry that you are interfering and if he does the latter then it may be time to let him make his own mistakes and hope that this woman doesn't destroy him.