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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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Been seeing this girl for 2 months. See her about once a week,

Customer Question

Been seeing this girl for 2 months. See her about once a week, call about 1-2 times and week. She has been accepting my dates since day one and been on good behavior - meaning no red flags. We just started sleeping with one another maybe about 3 weeks ago. Further, I'm trying to pursue a LTR w/ her.

Now, a few days ago she comes over to hang and she uses my bathroom as shes upstairs, she gets a text from some dude. I didnt read it. I just noticed it popped up as her cell was on my coffee table. I DO NOT want to ask her about being exclusive yetand want HER to ask because I do not want to put pressure on her.

What do I do here?

If and when I do find out she is seeing other guys (which I will), I will have to leave, even though I prob wont want to.
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 9 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:

 

-Has she talked about being excusive yet?

 

-Have you told her what you want to come out of the this relationship?

 

-Why do you feel you wiull have to leave her if she is seeing this other guy?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 9 years ago.
1.She has not talked about being exclusive. I met her off the eHarmony. She asked me a few weeks ago if I were still on the site and I said, she said no also.

2. I have not talked about all this relationship talk yet. Again, I dont want to pressure her into being exclusive. I'd more rather it come from her mouth as then I will know for sure.

3. I will leave becuse I assume we are exclusive if Im sleeping w/ a woman I have been talking to for 2 months and she is talking to other men. I mean were both 26, no games - I wanna settle down.

Expert:  KimberlyF replied 9 years ago.

 

Customer

 

Thank you for replying so quickly so that I can answer your question. With that being said how will she know that you want to be exclusive if you do not tell her, you say you will leave if she is seeing other people but that wouldn't be very fair to her seeing you haven't said you want to be exclusive and only see each other, you can not assume she knows what you are thinking. It would be in your best interest to tell her what you want this way she knows that you do not want her seeing other men while dating you. Two months is a short time to be seeing someone and she may not be ready to settle down with one person but it's only fair to each other for you both to get your expectations of the relationship out in the open, if you wait for her to be ready and tell you she is ready and if she is waiting for you to be ready and tell her you are ready what does that mean? That neither of you will tell each other that you are ready because you are waiting for the other to say it.

 

If you talk to each other and find out you want the same things it will make the relationship much better because your feelings are known and know what the other wants out of the relationship and if you want to be serious and she doesn't it's best you find out now before you invest even more feelings into this relationship. It doesn't always mean an exclusive relationship just because you are sleeping together it only means that the two of you feeling each other out to see if you are compatible for each other. You should talk to her and let your feelings be known, don't wait until she possibly find someone else and decides that person is more open about their feelings and what they want.

KimberlyF and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Thank u!
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 9 years ago.
Customer

 

One more thing also think about this maybe the text message was just from a friend I'm sure she had male friends that she talked to before you it may not be a love interest if you didn't read the text don't jump to conclusions and possibly lose a good thing.