Relationship

Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Relationship

Is there any hope for me and my best friend to go beyond that though

Customer Question
Is there any hope for...
Is there any hope for me and my best friend to go beyond that?though she knows how i feel is there any advice or something that you can tell me.
Submitted: 9 years ago.Category: Relationship
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Answered in 10 minutes by:
9/16/2008
Counselor: Ms Chase, Life Coach replied 9 years ago
Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2,897
Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
Verified
Hello James

How long have you been friends?

What are your ages?

Do you know how she feels about how you feel?

Does she want to go further?

Chase
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 9 years ago
We have been friends now for about a year and 2 months,we are both 18,I'm turning 19 in a month.Yes she knows how i feel and the thing is i don't think she does but i was hoping that maybe since the last time i told her i liked her about 9 months ago things would be different and we can go beyond best friends.
Counselor: Ms Chase, Life Coach replied 9 years ago
James,

I'm going to keep things very upfront.....if someone cares about you, you wouldn't have to ask. If she was attracted to you and wanted to be with you, she would be. You told her how you feel and put the ball in her court, thats all you can do. If she hasn't stepped up to the plate, then I would say to let it go, so that you don't ruin the friendship. On the other hand, once you decide to let it go and move on, it may make her notice what she's missing and could cause a change of heart, but you can't depend on that, you have to take a chance and really commit yourself to moving on, and if it changes things, then great but if not you'll have to accept that.

Chase
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 9 years ago
I can see where your getting at,see letting go and moving on is so hard because she is the closest person I've let into my life.I just wouldn't be able to let it go i mean what if i were to take the risk of ruining the friendship could there be a chance that things might happen.To add on to this alittle bit more I'm going to go visit her in Austin Texas in december to like january is making a final attempt okay to see if there really is anything between us?
Counselor: Ms Chase, Life Coach replied 9 years ago
I'm not telling you to let go of the friendship, not at all. Friendship is precious and so hard to find, but if you push her in a direction she is not willing to go, then not only are you not being a good friend, you may also push her away. You have to understand that just because you have these feelings, doesn't mean that she feels the same way.....this is unfortunate, and also the reason why people hesitate to make close friends of the opposite sex, because if the other person catches feelings, then the whole friendship becomes uncomfortable. I think if you want to tell her again how you feel, and see what she says, thats your decision....at some point it may make her uncomfortable. I still truly believe if there was feelings 'like that' for you, she would have already let you know that.

Chase
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 9 years ago
Thank you for all your input on this,I understand everything you said but since I've known her so long she has always waited for the guy to make the move.So thats where i can she wouldn't let me know because every guy shes been with has always made the move.People always say take a risk cause life is all about taking risk,I'd like to believe thats true because if a person were to sit on the sidelines then he'd lose his chance at person who could have been his ms.right.I just don't get how i would be pushing her into a direction she doesn't want to go down,that part seems to be the only part that is confusing me.
Counselor: Ms Chase, Life Coach replied 9 years ago
I can only go by what you explain to me...this is the first time you are telling me that you think she is like this. I'm not saying not to take a chance, I'm telling you that you told her once how you feel, and nothing.....are you saying that after you told her how you felt, she wouldn't have made a move....? It seems like you already made a move to no avail. You seem pretty set on bringing it up to her again, and when I say pushing her in a direction she doesn't want to go, I'm saying that if she didn't accept you as more than a friend the first time, going down the same road again could make her feel that you are pushing an issue that she may have felt she was clear on. If you feel that strongly about it, then go ahead and take the risk, buy her something beautiful, and tell her how you feel. All she can say is yes or no, and if she says yes, it would be great.

Chase
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 9 years ago
Thank you for the clarification on that and from what i knew about all her past ex's is that once they made there move she didn't do anything so the guys had step up again.From what i heard from her ex's and a little bit from herself,I know that i can't just not let her know how i feel and i thank you for all your help this is close to the answer i was looking fo.And i have the perfect thing for her since I'm visiting her in december,see shes totally into penguins so i found a giant stuffed animal penguin and i know shes going to love it.I'm going to tell her this last time and wait for her response,I have one last question on this see a lot of people have been telling me that the next and only way to know if theres chemistry between us is if i kissed her.Would you say to follow that advice i was given or just go with something else?
Counselor: Ms Chase, Life Coach replied 9 years ago
If you mean kiss her without her consent, I would disagree. It's like that in the movies but rarely happens like that in real life. I would say wait till you are alone together, tell her how you feel and maybe try to take her in your arms and see how she reacts. To just kiss someone without them knowing it's coming could be scary...as could the response. Then again, you seem determined to jump in feet first, so i would say go with how you feel. :)
I think the penguin idea is great, and I hope for the best result for you. If you like, come back and tell me how it works out, I would love to know.

Warmly

Chase
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 9 years ago
Well not kiss her without her consent i mean my pervious ex's liked that i would kiss them without asking,but i can see what you mean since she is my best friend,i mean the whole time we are going to hang out its just going to be us.Thank you for all that you had said and i sure am going to take everything you said to heart and yeah i tend to jump feet first in everything i do but thats what makes me me i guess.And i wll make sure to fill you in when the time comes,and i do love the penguin idea to since thats the animal she says is her favorite and had tons of peguin book covers for her books.And again the kiss would be alone not around other people cause then that sure would be scary on both parts.
Counselor: Ms Chase, Life Coach replied 9 years ago
This answer is protected
Would you like to ask this question?
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Ask Ms Chase Your Own Question
Ms Chase
Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2,897
2,897 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Ms Chase is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Counselor

1,720 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ms Chase

Ms Chase

Life Coach

2,897 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Psychotherapist

468 satisfied customers

Specializing in relationship/family counseling

Dr. Norman Brown

Dr. Norman Brown

Marriage Therapist

427 satisfied customers

Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

366 satisfied customers

Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.

Suzanne

Suzanne

Therapist, LCSW

338 satisfied customers

Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

DrJackiePhD

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

338 satisfied customers

I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

< Previous | Next >

Related Relationship Questions
My wife and I have been married 40 years. In sorting photos
My wife and I have been married 40 years. In sorting photos I noticed while organizing our old photos that she kept a number of photos (7 or 8) of an old boy friend. She dated him off and on for about… read more
Dr.G.
Dr.G.
Counseling Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
446 satisfied customers
I am a 38-year-old male and work full-time in
Hello I am a 38-year-old male and work full-time in law-enforcement. Over five years ago I met a woman through my work and her daughter was 11 at the time. She was with somebody then so I thought noth… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
My girlfriend and I were dating for around a year and we
my girlfriend and I were dating for around a year and we attend the same church . We had both been out of long term relationships and healed each other before forming our own relationship. We were going great and madly Inlove .her behavior was amazing towards me with no signs of changing for the worse up until November 2017 we were having these tiny but annoying arguments mostly caused by me and my trust issues I will admit . So I called her one morning to make up for an argument we had the night before and she suddenly tells me she doesn't love me anymore and she does not want the relationship anymore . I freeze but go about the usual desperate plead and beg route which made her even more upset . We attend church that Sunday and when she sees me she feels the love again and we speak normal for 2 weeks not officially together yet but making moves she evens sends me a detailed email telling me how impressed she is and it will help us going forward . I push to hard the next day of this email and upset her all over again. That weekend before Christmas 2017 she goes totally cold towards me and destroys me in a phone call and tells me I am obsessed with her etc. she drops me a further bombshell the week of Christmas by telling me she is going to meet her ex for breakfast and I need to be mature about it . I decide then and there I am done with this and I cut off all contact with her . No calls or texts and emails . So about 2 weeks go by and she sends me a text ‘hey you have just crossed my mind hope you are well' I respond 5 hours later with ‘I am well . Hope you well,take care' the next week she sends me a pointless text to which I just respond with thank you and this week she sends me a long detailed apology email informing me that she is sorry for pain she had caused me and I am truly a great guy and she doesn't understand why she had so much built up anger toward me and till this day she can't seem to know why she got so upset with me and she doesn't deserve me etc . I responded with a simple thanks for the apology and she said she does not know why she took so long to apologize something just held her back . I don't hate her at all it not in my nature to hold grudges but this girl ruined my holidays and told me really hurtful stuff while she was out having a blast . And now suddenly she feels apologetic. Please advise … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
Whenever I'm talking to a girl, I get incredibly jealous
Whenever I'm talking to a girl, I get incredibly jealous when they mention or are with hanging other guys. (I'm a 20 year old guy) I don't know why though, I don't like getting jealous but I can't hel… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
If he doesnt want to be in a relationship with me, why
If he doesnt want to be in a relationship with me, why doesnt he leave instead of giving me false hope?… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
My boyfriend has depression, sleeps most of the time, is
My boyfriend has depression, sleeps most of the time, is awake when I'm not with him, doesn't want to sleep in the same bed because he wants to stretch out, be alone, and most recently tells me that I… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
If you are there I would like to describe the situation,
Jen, if you are there I would like to describe the situation, which I asked you about yesterday, in more detail as I would value your opinion.… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
A few weeks ago I received a message from a guy that I dated
second opinion] Hi. A few weeks ago I received a message from a guy that I dated very casually before he moved about 1 ½ years ago to California from Ohio & since then we really didn't stay in touch. … read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
Before I was officially dating my boyfriend I was flirting
Before I was officially dating my boyfriend I was flirting with another guy while I was talking to my current boyfriend. I never told him and tried to hide it. Now he knows and is questioning my trust… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
Is my gf avoidant attachment type or secure... or a little
Is my gf avoidant attachment type or secure... or a little of each? Im an insecure anxious attachment type for sure.... i always need reassurance and stuff from my gf... my gf in the beginning was alr… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
We are not dating but I've known him for 15 years, we met at
We are not dating but I've known him for 15 years, we met at work I thought he was good looking we hit it off as friends. He had me staying over his place a lot, then I found out he was gay/bi I start… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
My question is about a possible beginning to a relationship.
Hello this is Brian, my question is about a possible beginning to a relationship … read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
Is it normal for your boyfriend to constantly have his ex
Is it normal for your boyfriend to constantly have his ex girlfriend come over to visit even though you tell him to it really bothers you… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
My girlfriend of 10 years suddenly broke up. I have
My girlfriend of 10 years suddenly broke up. I have chirldren with a previous partner and we still keep the family house and gather. But my family has not accepted my new partner 'although she is ever… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
Boyfriend of 1 year newly divorced from unhappy 30+year
Boyfriend of 1 year newly divorced from long unhappy 30+year marriage told me he keeps thinking bout old girlfriend and how he has always wondered about her and how/where she is. … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
170 satisfied customers
A few weeks ago I received a message from a guy that I dated
Hi. A few weeks ago I received a message from a guy that I dated very casually before he moved about 1 ½ years ago to California from Ohio & since then we really didn't stay in touch. So I was a bit s… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
My wife goes to a high-end restaurant bar / restaurant on a
My wife goes to a high-end restaurant bar / restaurant on a Sunday for brunch, She start 3 hours and gets rather trashed with her alcoholic Mother of which we do not like each other. Keep in mind that… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
953 satisfied customers
Not sure how to move on from this if he cant trust me. Ok,
not sure how to move on from this if he cant trust me. Ok, My boyfriend and I and my two teenage daughters live together. I gave him the consent to record my daughter because we were trying to catch h… read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x