Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP
HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on Just Answer. By the way, it would help me to know:
-What are your ages?
-How long ago did you leave?
-Do you want the relationship to work?
Why did you decide to take a job in another country? Was it more pay, better job or both?
-Could you explain your situation a little more?Thank you again for trusting me with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that I can finish answering your question.
To be honest I think he may be starting to resent you for being gone for so long and wants to have his girlfriend back and feels like you may have set him aside to chase your dreams that you had since childhood but he has to understand that relationships are about give and take and allowing your mate to live their dream no matter where those dreams take them and he has to be supportive of that and allow you this so that you do not live your lives with regrets about holding each other back and I think it may be time for you to say those words to him and ask him to be patient that it is a little more time and you will be his for the rest of your lives. He just misses you and the time that you spent together in person and now that he has to settle for instant messages and text messages it's hard for him just explain to him that you understand his feelings and that he also knew your feelings about working and living in another country. Maybe you could save up and he could save up and he could possibly fly to where you are and you both can rekindle your relationship and maybe this is what he needs to carry him these last few months apart.
Show him that he is still important to you and he is all you want in your life relationship wise because he could also be feeling a little insecure about being apart and other men though he may trust you he may not trust other men around you, reassure him that he is the only guy for you. Relationship are hard but long distance relationship you have to working doubly hard at because of insecurities and loneliness on both parts just try not to let you following your dream be the end of your relationship show him that you can handle both and that this (living in another country) isn't going to last forever but your relationship will.
Try to fly him where you are if only for a weekend so that he can see you are the same person he fell in love with and that you are just following your dream so that you don't have to live with regret and possibly resent him for not allowing you this opportunity.
He may be rethinking the relationship because he had time to himself to think about things and maybe he likes being able to hang with his friend and not have to answer to anyone. I just don't understand why he wouldn't answer your calls unless he is with friend and doesn't want to sound like he is on a leash. You may need to give him this time to decide what it is he wants but I really think it's the distance and that he feels like you didn't make him one of your priorities if it isn't another female then it has to be the fact that he has enjoyed his freedom since you've been gone. You can't make someone want to be with you they have to want it also or else they will be with you for the wrong reasons. Give him this time just like he gave you time to pursue your dreams; you want him to be with you because he wants to and not because you asked him to stay in the relationship don't you?
You have to allow him to find his way back to you and the only way he will do that is through time, it really sounds like he is starting to resent that you left him behind and now doesn't know if this relationship is what he wants. Allow him to figure this out on his own and tell him you are willing to do that so that he knows exactly what he wants he may appreciate the fact that you are willing to do that and may help him realize why he fell in love with you in the first place be supportive like he tried to be with your endeavor.