Thanks for your questions. I will answer them one by one:
1. Has she asked why you won't get intimate with her sexually?
Yes. I tell her I simply have no libido.
2. Have you aksed her to go to the gym with you?
Yes. She goes once in while and it is a struggle getting her to the gym and if she is there, while I am sweating in my workout, she merely walks (speed 3 or 4) on the treadmill. She is not into sports. It is pointless with her. She is young (29) and her weight is not overly excessive, about 72 kg (she is 168 cm tall).
3. Why don't you tell her how you truly feel?
Because she has a huge temper and she is going to raise hell. She has told me throughout our 5 years marriage that if she even gets fat, I have to love her for it. I am afraid if I tell her she is fat, she is going to turn the situation around like I am some sort of monster who is supposed to love her no matter what she looks like and that other men desire her even with the weight on ... bla bla bla ... She even tells me that she has no problem if I get fat -- as a matter of fact, she does not like to see me fit.
4. Did she have a problem with weight before you got married?
No. But she was very young, 24 at the time. Her mother is overweight and her father is skinny, and she has always maintained that she has her father genes and she can eat whatever she wants and not exercise, and that it will not affect her weight. I can say her eating habits were extremely bad when I met her (a lot of sprites, fried food, salami, french fries, pizza ...), and we always fought over this. She has improved her diet being around me, but everytime she spends the summer (2 months) in Russia with her mom, she puts on some 6 - 10 kgs and we go through "hell" in winter trying to take off the excess weight, and I MANAGE, BUT AT THE COST OF DESTROYING OUR RELATIONSHIP. Even worse, my daughter gets overweight when she is with her Mom in Russia.
(If it matters, her ethnicity is Russian).
5. Could you explain your situation a little more?
I think I have done so. If you need more questions, I would be happy to answer. I think, on my side, I have a problem that I am very picky with the women I sleep with (I do not cheat on my wife), but what I mean is before marriage, and even after marriage (I do get some fantasies), and it is always with fit girls. I am absolutely not attracted to non-fit women. I have respect for people whatever they look, and i can make friendship, but when it comes to sex, you understand, it is a different equation.