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Ive been dating a guy for about 8mos.and recently started

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I've been dating a guy...
I've been dating a guy for about 8mo's.and recently started sleeping with him unprotected.Two day after he ask me to move in with him. I found out that he was dating someone at my sister's job. When my sister saw she told him to just leave me alone because he he hurt me enough. He told here that we were never in a relationship etc. I never confront him I just sent him the text that I was getting from my sister from the girl he was cheating on me with. Saying how he had been taking her to lunch how I won't leave alone and he also showed her where I live. He's been with this woman ever since we broke up. How do I get over him with I have to look at them happy every day together and he's live across the stree fom me?
Submitted: 9 years ago.Category: Relationship
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Answered in 43 minutes by:
8/21/2008
Counselor: KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert replied 9 years ago
KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on Just Answer. By the way, it would help me to know:

 

-What are your ages?

 

-Do you want him back?

 

-So he's making you look like you're obsessed with him to the new girlfriend?

 

-Is there a chance you could be pregnant since you didn't use protection?


-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting me with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that I can finish answering your question.

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Customer reply replied 9 years ago
I am 36 and He is 44 the woman that he's see is 28 or 29 He's been divorced for 4 years because he cheated on wife and had a child. He was very guard about his children and his ex being around me but not he has the new woman around his 17year old daughter something he wouldn't let do cause he said he had to brake his childred in to being aroun me.The woman is going thru a divorce now and has 3 children twins that are 2years old and a son. Information my sister has shared with me. There's no chance of me being pregnant I went to the dr and we were both tested for hiv before we stop using anything. He can on me really heavy when we first started going out and he was willing to do anything that I wanted to reassure me of how he felt for me. It actuall scared me. he was recently laid off from his job when we were together and I just tried to keep him encouraged and share what extra cash I had with im or take him out. we did talk about being in a relationship and he said that we were that I shouldnt be hung up on titles he's say why woule he want anyone else he said I represented so many thing to him and it was kinda scary. he then ask me to be patient with him until he go back to work cause he was too depressed to talk about relationships he was worried about his job and that was formost on his mind. so I gave him space. He talked about how bad he messed up with his ex and how she only had a key to let his children in but I had nothing to worry about he wanted me. I was so overwhelem with the up and down I try to walk away and he'd keep coming back pleading why am I leaving him how I wont be patient. so I wen back again this last time I slept with him the night he ask me to move in with him. unprotected. I'm not sure If I want him back but I do miss him alot. He's telling the new girl that I wont leave him alone and that if she comes over then maybe I'd get the picture and leave him alone he even showed this woman where Iive and that's totally not cool!!! My sister said the girl was at work telling everyone how nice his house is and how he said Im crazy and how he asked her to come over so maybe that would make me leave him alone. I've never talk to him after I found about her. I NEVER!! spoke to him again a even though I see him out side when I leave my house when I do see him with he he's hugging or driving off in her car. When I get home from work at nite she's there with his daughter's car in the drive way too and when I take my son to school I've ran into her leavin his house for work. she meets him at home when he gets off work at nite. I was on my porch last week my my brother when they pulled up together.. It's hard as you can see I cant sleep. Last week she told my sister that he was her man and he gave her a commited relationship. It hurts really bad because I would never talk badly about I've been nothing but kind to him and tried to be supportive to what he was going thru
Counselor: KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert replied 9 years ago

 

Customer

 

I think you should let him go, if he can talk bad about you when you aren't doing anything could you imagine if you were, just be glad you're rid of a person like that who has to lie and deceive to keep a woman interested. Does your sister stick up for you when the other woman starts talking bad about you, does she tell her that he is lying and that you do not contact him? It seems that he was upset that you didn't stick by him when he lost his job and now he is paying you back. I think that his actions may be his regular behavior and that is how he treated his wife also, it just seems like he has done that before because of how easily he has told lies on you and made you seem like some kind of stalker. If you confront them then you are only making it seems like his was right about you and that you are a jilted lover that won't leave him alone. I wouldn't be surprised if he is even telling her you moved right across the street so that you could be near him.

 

You really shouldn't lose sleep over him he has proved that he is not worth that if he truly cared about you he would have told the other woman the truth but he didn't because he didn't want to sound like some kind of loser. He sounds like he is angry with you for leaving him the first time when he lost his job even though you came back it still hurt him and now he is doing whatever he can to hurt you over and over again. Maybe you should ask your sister not to talk about them and that it hurts too much to hear that he is talking badly about you when you have done nothing to warrant those kinds of character attacks.

 

I think you should get back out in the dating scene and show them both that you have moved on and are much better off without him. Hang out more with friends go to the movies or dinner so that you don't have to constantly see her coming to his house and him leaving with her to go on dates. He is rubbing her in your face because he knows you have no one and are constantly home so don't give him that satisfaction go on dates and make sure the date picks you up at your house and show him that you aren't thinking about him or his relationship if he sees or hears that it bothers you he will only continue to do it. Hold your head high and go about your daily routine without even a glance over his way. If you do this long enough little by little it will become common place for you and be easier to ignore him, he just doesn't deserve any attention from you and the more attention he gets from you the more he puts on his show and someone cannot have a show without an audience so don't be his audience.

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Customer reply replied 9 years ago

Thanks I really appreciate your time and efforts. I never left him while he was laid off I just gave his some space to try to make a decision about us. I just didn't want a sexual relationship I've never had that before. I was with him during his lay off taking him out, giving him cash even when I didnt have it if I had 50 I made sure he had 25. I just wanted a commitment from him. He talked so much about his ex I wanted my own place with him some where to create new memories. My sister just tells the woman she's happy and she told her not to speak that way about me cause I raised my sister and was like a mom to her. My last question to you is I notice that is daughter is staying with him now. He never let me interact with his daughter because he said that were reall sheltered about there mom and him getting back together. He said that we'd out to breakfast to meet on a more appropaite level something good for kids. His daughter that's at his house us 17 why does he let the new woman spend the night over there with his daughter and I couldn't.? Is he falling in love with this woman it's only been 2 mos.? lastly most guys wont let a woman stay at there house EVERYNITE! since we broke up why he letting her stay there that much...? I'm done you have know idea how much your reply's have meant to me.. Thanks in advance Jada

 

Counselor: KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert replied 9 years ago

Jada,

 

You're quite welcome and anytime I can help you just come back and ask for me. May I ask you before I answer your questions if you meant you never had sex with him?

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Customer reply replied 9 years ago
Oh no! I have been sleeping with him for 6mos.
Customer reply replied 9 years ago
I'm not sure how to reply and accept it just keeps charging my card. I want you to get credit . does it charge me everytime I reply?
Counselor: KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert replied 9 years ago

 

Jada,

 

I wouldn't be able to tell you why he allowed the new girlfriend and not you spend the night at his house since his daughter lives there, it maybe he felt a better connection with this woman or he might not have wanted a committed relationship at the time he was dating you and changed his mind, the only way you would get your answer is to ask him and I don't think that is a good idea because of the way he has been talking about you and spreading lies and if he can lie that easily he may very well tell you more lies and you still wouldn't get your answers. Don't spend your life wondering what if and doubting yourself as a parent and lover he just isn't worth that much time he has proved that he can not be trusted. I wish I could answer that for you but I just don't know how his mind works and how he thinks to be able to tell you an honest answer as to why he allowed the new woman to meet his children and not you, maybe the children already knew this woman so he knew it would be safe to bring her around the kids but since I don't know either of them I can only assume. No it only charges when you click the green accept button. If you ever need my help I am here for you just ask for me by name.

KimberlyF
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Satisfied Customers: 750
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