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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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My husband had an affair awhile ago. The other woman is the

Customer Question

My husband had an affair awhile ago. The other woman is the one who confirmed it to me by an email she sent me with an erroneous email address. Afraid of loosing me he broke it off with her. After much work, we have saved our marriage. However, the other woman to this day still insists on contacting me. I assume to make me jealous and to try to break up what my husband and I have together. She has posted old pictures of the two of them on sites that I belong to, emailed my Girlfriends, sent letters in the mail to my house, followed him and contacted me so I would see them together, and now is leaving me messages on her im away massages so that I might see them and react. I know nothing is going on with the two of them anymore. What should I do about this? How should I handle this?
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.
Hello Johnny'sgirl

What 'away list' do you see her on?

How did she get your girlfriends email addys?

Have you considred a restraining order?

What is your husbands response to all of this?

Customer: replied 9 years ago.
My girlfriend saw her on one of the sites that we have a membership ( with. The site doesn't use your email address but does use an id name. When my friend saw her telling all these lies she decided to write to her thru the site to defend me and my Husband. I assume when the other woman got this she flipped and did some detective work to get her email address. Most email addresses can be found out if someone wants it that badly. And I have no idea how she got my email address. I even checked with aol and different places. According to them and to different detective places there is no way to find out what aol email address someone has. Don't know how true that is though because she got my email address some how. Yes, I have considered a restraining order. I am in the process of gathering all the info I need to do just that. And as far as my Husband is concerned, this time I haven't told him. When it has happened in the past, I have told him and he took care of it. It stops for a while and then she goes about it a different way the next time.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.
In my experience, the best way to deal with someone like this is to change your contact info and ignore them. If she knows she is getting a rise out of you and/or your friends, she's going to keep doing it, it's like she lives for this. Movies like Fatal Attraction are made because of people like her. I know it's difficult to consider changing all of your emails addresses, log in names, etc, and there's no guarantee that she won't find them again, but if she can't get a rise out of you about any of this, then she loses the whole idea of doing it. A restraining order is an idea, but if she's not been threatening you, it's going to be difficult to pull off. I also agree to not involve your boyfriend, as that's likely her ultimate goal, to get him back involved somehow. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.