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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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me and my wife came close to divorce . ill give you a quick ...

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me and my wife came close to divorce . ill give you a quick outline to what happened . i agrred to be put on a budget of 2o dollars a day because i was bad at paying bills .evry once in awhile i ask for things like a new computer or a pair of boots she kept saying i dont need it or we agreed to save money wich we did .we took vacations ect but nothing beyond our means we have no kids property.after 4 years of marriage i decided to check the bank statements since we have a joint account ,there was nothing saved ,she had spoken to me about sending money to her country in columbia for haer family , but never this much close to 6000,in one year that could find the other years i could not find any evidence to were the money has been going .She agreed she was wrong by sending the money to her country but said they needed and we didnt we dicussed all this and seperated all the money and i have all the bills set in my name so if we were to split i can still live ,i need more space to explain
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.
HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on Just Answer. By the way, it would help me to know:

-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting me with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that I can finish answering your question.
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Reply to KimberlyF's Post: im sorry i ran out of space now that me and my wife spoke about things ,including how i feel she puts her family ahead of me she says she loves me and she is willing to do what it takes to make our marriage work she works in nyc tues to friday she comes home fri sat sun now she wants to possibly quit her job wich she makes good money to find another job that will her come home every night now im a little hesitant with her and i told her to give us a yaer to see if every thing can be worked out and she feels thet im not feeling commited enough she thinks i might have some one else ,its just that im not sure of our future
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.

You're right to have fears about your future with the recession and all and I can understand your wife's point also because she feels that she needs to do this to save her marriage since you were on the brink of a divorce because of her actions with sending all of your savings to her family and/or spending it. If you want your wife to keep her job you need to reassure her that you are not seeing someone else and are committed to making your marriage work. Explain to her your fears about your future and that you think the job she has now is more stable than starting a new job with possibly less money. I think if you communicate better why you do not want her to leave her current job I'm sure the two of you can come up with a compromise it's just your wife knows she messed up by sending all of your saving to her family and she now fears losing you because of this.

What you have is a break down in communication where you aren't being very clear about what you want from the marriage and the money situation. I think it's time for you both to sit down and have another talk. Maybe you should also try a Marriage and Budget Counselor, marriage counseling can better help you to communicate and compromise in your marriage and also help you both to better trust the other because you now do not trust your wife with the money of the house and she doesn't trust you not to leave or find someone else. A budget counselor can help you both save money and spend less on needless things and have money for when you really need it.

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