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Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21417
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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My Mother and I would like to introduce her recently ...

Customer Question

My Mother and I would like to introduce her recently widowed Brother to my deceased Fathers Sister. I am afraid it is too soon for my Uncle, but Mom said when you are in your 70s you dont have time to wait. Neither of them would ever agree to a ''set-up''. Any thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated.
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 9 years ago.

I would like to help you with your question, but first, I would like to get a little more information from you:

How long ago did your Uncle lose his wife?

Is your aunt (father's sister) widowed also, or never married or divorced?

Have they ever met at any family functions?

How is your uncle's attitude? Does he still seem to be grieving, sad, not going out much, staying to himself, or is he willing to go out with his friends, out to eat, carrying on with normal, everyday activities?

Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Reply to Cher's Post: It has only been 4 months since my Uncles wife passed.

My Aunt on Dads side has been divorced and widowed and recently broke off a 3 yr relationship.

They met many many years ago because of course my Parents were married once upon a time.

My Uncle, who has been the primary caretaker of his cancer ridden wife for 8 years, quit his job a while back so he could devote his full time to my Aunt. Now he has gone back to work and Mom thinks he is doing good.
Expert:  Cher replied 9 years ago.
Hello again, and thanks for your reply with additional information.

I'm glad to hear that your uncle has gone back to work and is doing well. I understand how difficult it was for him during the 8 years his wife was sick and he was taking care of her.

I feel, at this particular time, that your uncle is still in a vulnerable position and needs a little more time to get his life back on track, with work, and re-defining himself, now that he's no longer your late aunt's caretaker.

Your father's sister has been in quite a different 'space' over the years, being divorced, widowed, and now coming out of a longterm relationship.

For these reasons, I think, even though your mom's and your intentions are good, and these two now 'single' relatives might enjoy each other's company, eventually, more time needs to pass, before you get them together. Your aunt is definitely in a 'rebound' state of mind and your uncle is learning how to live life as a newly single man, still grieving the loss of his beloved spouse. I would advise waiting a few more months, before getting them together, so they can each 'settle' into their newly single lives.

You mentioned that neither would appreciate a 'set-up', so I'm assuming you're planning on inviting them both to some sort of family gathering, which would be a good idea. Continue to keep in touch with both of them, keep up with what's going on in their lives, be a good listener, and then, in a couple of months, try to accomplish the 'get-together'.

I hope things work out well, and please let me know if you would like to discuss this further.

Cher and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 9 years ago.


Here is a copy of the email I sent Customer service.





I asked, and got an acceptable answer for $9. I thought I made a $10 deposit into my account to pay the expert, thinking she would receive the $11 which includes your $1 match. Our bank says it is two separate transactions. Her $9 and your $10. I am on a fixed income and am requesting $9 back. The extra dollar was intended for her. I would use this service again but will pay for it at that time.

Thank you for your help,

Nila Neblett

Expert:  Cher replied 9 years ago.
Hi again, Nila, and thanks for letting me know about this.

If you don't receive a response from Customer Service in a timely manner, please let me know, and I'll try to help from my end. Thanks!

Cher (I'm sending this as a request for information, so you're not prompted to click 'accept' again)
Customer: replied 9 years ago.
again, thank you for your help. A refund has already been submitted.
Expert:  Cher replied 9 years ago.
Hi again, Nila, and you're most welcome! I'm glad Customer Service took care of it.

Take care,