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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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Can I make this work and last

Customer Question

I am with a woman that I really love and want to be with forever, But she cant deal with me drinking.
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 9 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on Just Answer. By the way, it would help me to know:

-What are your ages?

-How long have you been dating her?

-How often do you drink? How many times a day?

-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting me with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that I can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Well. I'm 32 she is 41 I have been dating her for 1 year, and I have been drinking cents I was 18 , I went to rehab about 6 m ago. She don't trust me because of the lieing about the times when was drinking and she found out. But now that Im not I dont know how to convince her.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 9 years ago.


Thank you for answering my questions and helping me to better answer your question, the only things that are going to convince her is time, she needs time to actually see that you are not drinking and hiding it from her. You lost a little of her trust when you went out and drank and then lied to her about it and that will take some time for her to get over that, she may even think you are lying now. Maybe you should consider an AA meeting once a week if you aren't already to prove to her that you are serious about quitting, this will show her that you want to be all that she wants you to be and until then I don't think she would consider marrying you or committing to you, she wants to make sure that you won't become an alcoholic and ruin your life.

The only way you will convince her is through actions and not talk she has heard it before and she doesn't want to rely on words she wants to now see actions. If you truly do love her and want to prove to her that you can and are willing to change your ways then you have to want to do it for you or else it will not work and you will backslide and possibly lose her and you do not want that, also if she sees that you are going to an AA meeting and did this on your own without her asking she will respect that you made a conscious choice to change your life for the better.

Love conquers all and if she loves you she will stand by you as long as you are making an effort to stop drinking and get help with that issue. Give it some time and consider the meeting and can also meet other people that are going through what you are going through and can be your support system while attending the meetings.