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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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I need at know whether me & my ex still have a chance.

Customer Question

I need at know whether me & my ex still have a chance. We were together only for a short while but we were so in love, we broke up because I made him feel cornered I let all the shit from my ex relationships effect the one I had with him, but he never told me that till we broke up. We stayed friends I wanted to just be civil when we saw eachother but he text me all the time even when he was pissed, so I thought he stil might have feelings I mean come on he was drunk & he decideds 2 text me?! I asked him out if he had feelings & he just sed he dont break up wiv sum1 2 get back wiv them I think & his cousin who is my best m8 think its because he dont like admiiting he is wrong. He never actually sed he never had feelingz 4 me jus sed he had a new g/f & thinks I shud move on I have found out now he never did have a g/f. I said fine lets just forget about it & stay friends but now he saying that he dont want no contact wiv me at all I mean nothing 2 him & Im going to do nothing with my life! He blames me for the break up & says he never wants 2 c me again (according to my m8 he pushes his ex''s away so he finds it easy 2 get over them & dont get hurt himself!!) but I will always b part of his life his family r like mine & I was always good friends with some of his family even before we met he lives in Wales so it will b a while b4 we c eachotha but when we do we will hang out in a big group & I hope things wont be awkward & we can talk. I would love to get back with him he means the world 2 me,but if we dont I just hope we can be friends again. Whats the best thing I can do, I want 2 give him space & will but hope 1 day he will speak 2 me again, will he?! also I don''t know why he''s turned against me all of a sudden?!
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.

It's best right now to give him time, he is angry right now because he felt he had to pay for what every other guy put you through and he blames you for the break up. If you push now you may never have another chance with him. Try to be his friend for now and gain his trust again he thinks if he gives you another chance it will be pretty much the same thing all over again show him that you have matured and if that means giving yourself time to get over past hurts then that is in your best interest because if he gives you another chance make sure you don't have any emotional baggage this time so that you can both start fresh.

It's easier for him to be angry with you and not show his true feelings this may be why he said he had a girlfriend when he didn't have one, he is finding excuses to get over you and hurt you as much as he felt you hurt him. What you should do since you live far away, sit down and think of what you want to say to him and write it in a letter, explain to him that you were wrong for treating him the way you did and that you want to at least be friend if you cannot be lovers but you hope that one day he can forgive you enough to give you another chance at love with him because you cannot see yourself with anyone else. Something to that affect to show him that you really do care and want him back.

The saying goes "Time heals all wounds" maybe that is what you both need right now, you time to heal old wounds from past relationships and him time to heal from the hurt of the break up. I would write the letter and send it to him and tell him at the end of the letter that you are giving him time to think about what you've wrote and then give him just that and while you are giving him time write down everything bad that has happened to you in past relationships and then work on those things so that they don't happen again if he does give you another chance.

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