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This last saturday i went out on a date with an ...

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This last saturday i went...
This last saturday i went out on a date with an attractive intelligent brunette that i met online. the date couldnt have gone better. she was extremely interested in me. she complimented me on my appearance and showed me her phone during the date where she had my number stored in as "hottie". i was getting all the positive signs both verbal and non-verbal. she busted out her digital camera and showed me pics of her parents, told me how different i was from all the other guys shes met in the past. she even went as far as to say that this was the best first date that she''d ever been on in a very very long time. mind you this was the first time we were seeing each other face to face..i had only talked to her briefly over the phone before this. during the date we talked about each others interests and what we were looking for as far as a relationship is concerned. we were both looking for a long term committed relationship. CONTINUED ON NEXT SUBMISSION
Submitted: 9 years ago.Category: Relationship
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Answered in 19 minutes by:
8/1/2008
Counselor: KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert replied 9 years ago
KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
Verified

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on Just Answer. By the way, it would help me to know:

-What are your ages?

-How long did you talk online before you met?

-What is it that you need help with?

-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting me with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that I can finish answering your question.

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Customer reply replied 9 years ago
Reply to KimberlyF's Post: I am 27 and she is 26. We didnt talk online that much at all. I messaged her after taking a look at her profile and she replied back asking me if i wanted to talk over the phone so i gave her my phone number. she called me a day later and thats when i setup the first date.
id like to explain my situation to you in more detail but this website doesnt allow me to. it has a character limit. let me repost my concern again to you in this window. Thanx!

[Hey guys i need your HELP. This last saturday i went out on a date with an attractive intelligent brunette that i met online. the date couldnt have gone better. she was extremely interested in me. she complimented me on my appearance and showed me her phone during the date where she had my number stored in as "hottie". i was getting all the positive signs both verbal and non-verbal. she busted out her digital camera and showed me pics of her parents..told me how different i was from all the other guys shes met in the past. she even went as far as to say that this was the best first date that she'd ever been on in a very very long time. mind you this was the first time we were seeing each other face to face..i had only talked to her briefly over the phone before this.

during the date we talked about each others interests and what we were looking for as far as a relationship is concerned. we were both looking for a long term committed relationship. we talked a lot about sexual things like what turned her on, how she masturbates etc. after dinner she asked me to sit next to her. i went for the kiss and we kissed passionately for sometime. she kept coming back to kiss me more and more. it was really nice and obviously i also felt quite physically and emotionally drawn to her.

FYI: she currently lives out of town in the bay area and i live in the LA area but shes moving in town next month for good. thats why she was visiting town to look for apts and we happened to go on a date since she found me online. so anyways the night ended with her going back to her hotel. i asked her to call me once she reached her hotel to let me know she reached safely. she did. during the date she also told me i could call her as many times i wanted even visit her the following weekend up in the bay area where she is currently living.

here's what I THINK i did wrong. i took all this literally. the next morning i woke up all dreamy and left her a voicemail where i told her "how much fun it was last night and that i felt dreamy around her". she returned my call a few hours later but sounded a bit different. dont know how to explain it but she didnt sound like the other times when i had spoken to her over the phone.

she asked me more questions about myself including what i like to do over the weekends, how much time alone would i need to spend with my friends when i have a girlfriend, whether i had any rules around splitting the cost of the bill each time i hung out with my gf etc. i answered them honestly and she told me "can you get one answer wrong please" so obviously i took all these as positive signs. oh and she also asked me if i had a circumsized or uncircumsized penis! go figure. well i gave her the answer but i feel like that was a bit personal for her to ask me and i should have just told her to be patient and find out for herself..something like that. during this call i also mentioned to her if she wanted me to come to the bay area like we had talked about on our first date. she told me she'll let me know.

so during the middle of the conversation she told me she was getting a call from her mom and that she would call me right back so we hung up BUT she never called back. i called her up later that night after about 6-7 hrs. she picked up but i realized i had just woken her up from her sleep. i apologized and told her she can call me when she gets a chance. well now its been 4 days since that night call and i havent heard from her. i havent called her either. my question is did i do something wrong to drop her interest level for me? And what can i do now to regain it? she seems to be acting aloof. is it because i came on too strong too early and scared her away by letting her know we both had a really strong connection and how i wanted to pay her a visit in the bay area, and how she gives me a very positive vibe? PLEASE HELP. what should i do next? id like to get a second date with her. Do i call or do i wait for her. My gut tells me she wont call but im not sure what really put her off (if anything).]
Counselor: KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert replied 9 years ago
Customer

I wouldn't read so much into this, she may be busy packing or with work, you did say she was moving soon right? You didn't come on strong at all, all you did was answer questions she asked of you so there for she was the one coming on too strong, I just don't understand why she went so cold after that. Maybe she felt like you weren't being honest because you got all of the questions right, she may feel that your too good to be true and this is scaring her and not your actions. You won't know any of the answer to your question unless you ask her and make some kind of contact with her. I suggest you call her and ask her if there was something you did wrong and tell her that you really wouldn't like to get to know her and if she would like you can start out as friends and take it slow.

Since you met online you didn't have much time to get to know her likes and dislikes so pretty much you were winging it on your first date and since she asked most of the questions I really don't think it was you. I must say this though you have to be very careful that she doesn't meet every guy she talks to online and asks them the same questions she asked you, since you aren't really sure it was her mother on the other line you don't know if she was talking another online male friend or even a boyfriend so this is something you are going to have to find out and then maybe it will answer some of your questions.

I would call her this afternoon or evening just to get a feel for how she reacts to you calling if she is pleasantly surprised tell her you were just calling to see how she was and tell her how much fun you had on your date and you would like to do it again real soon and see how she replies. If she doesn't seem as interested anymore then ask her if it was something you did or said that made her change her mind. Hopefully she will be completely honest with you as far as why she stopped calling and wasn't as interested anymore. You won't find out unless you call her since she hasn't called you try taking it a bit slower and get to know her first, everything about her, her family, her work, her friends, her dating history, this way you will find if she does this kind of thing all the time or not.

KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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