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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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Is there a future with a man already married to someone else

Resolved Question:

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Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 9 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on Just Answer. By the way, it would help me to know:

-What are your ages?

-Are you dating him now?

-If so, how long have you been dating him?

-Are you single now?

-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting me with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that I can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Reply to KimberlyF's Post: I am 53 and he is 55.
yes I am dating him now. I have been dating him for appropriate 10 years.
Yes I am single but he is married to a lady who has systemic lupus and is on dialysis. He explain to me from the beginning that he was was married and could I deal with the relationship. In the beginning, I said yes but I feel in Love with him and claims that he is in love with me. He does not want to leave his wife because of her illness. I know that her illness is factual because I have talked with her several times. She does not know that her husband and myself is in a relationship together. Recently, he has put unreasonable expectations on me because he believe that another man has an interest in me and that the man is coming on to me. I feel that we are just friends.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 9 years ago.


There may not be a future until he can put closure on his marriage and I think he is staying with his wife out of obligations because she is ill and unless the illness is terminal and she isn't expected to live much longer I don't see him being able to live with himself until that time comes he will feel guilty if he does leave her while she is ill and if something were to happen after he left he would only start to resent you because it was you who wanted him to leave. Do you find yourself attracted to this other man? Do you see yourself having a future with the married man?

You have been the other woman in his life for 10 years is it possible for you to wait longer for him to be free? Do you know how long the wife is expected to live? Usually people with lupus do not have a long life from what I know. 10 years is a long time to be with a married man and not date anyone but the married man so really he has been your future for the past ten years would another ten make that much of a difference? These are question you have to ask yourself and in the end it is you that have to make the final decision in this situation because I am someone who has been in your situation for ten minutes you have been in this situation for ten years, it is you that know your limits as far as your relationship with this married man is concerned.

You also have to decided whether you want to continue being friends with this other man even when you know the married man disapproves but you also have to ask does he have that right to ask that of you seeing he belongs to someone else and cannot give you totally what you need and desire from him. Are you willing to give up a possibly love connect to continue to wait on this married man or do you not have feelings for this friend that is showing interest in you. Click reply if you have anything to add or more questions.

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