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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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My boyfriend of 1 year and I are very much in love but I am ...

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My boyfriend of 1 year and I are very much in love but I am worried about our future as he has no interest in children. Although I do not want children for at least 10 years ( I am 26 and he is 28) I am worried that this will one day break us up. I hope that as he matures he will perhaps feel differently and this will appeal to him more. My mum has suggested that this is likely but I do not know what to think. Any advice?
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.
HelloCustomerbr />
There are many people who know in their heart that they do not want children. For whatever reason, they either don't believe the world is fit for children, they don't want the responsibility (emotional or financial), or they just really have no interest in children. No one can tell you whether to stay with him or not, but I can tell you, many a woman has gone down the road of thinking a man will change only to be disappointed in the end. He's no teenager, he's old enough to know what he wants. If at 28, he's saying he doesn't want kids, you have to think that the odds are at least 50/50 that he may want kids 5 yrs from now. It will also depend on his reasoning, if it's because he thinks the world is a bad place, being in love could change that, but if he's saying, I just don't want kids, I have no desire to have them, then it's less likely he will change over time.

You have to decide whether you want to stay with him a little longer and see if he changes his mind, or whether or not you want to cut your losses now, and find someone who's more on the same page as you. If you decide to stay with him, how will you feel in 10 yrs if he says 'I told you years ago, I did not want kids'? Knowing that you want a family puts you on a different life path than someone who has decided they don't want them.....your future planning is different, you'll have different desires for different things, where you'll live, how you spend your money, what type of work you want to get into, etc.

I would sit down and have a serious talk with him. Let him know that you want children, and that there's no way you can see having a life without children, and that you want to know if this is something he is even considering or is he dead set against them, and base your decision on that. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.


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