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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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how do i stop being verbally abusive i dint do it for the ...

Customer Question

how do i stop being verbally abusive i dint do it for the first 18 months of our marriage
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

First of all, let me say that I think it's commendable that you are realizing that there is a problem, and that you may need outside help. I will do everything I can to help you. Let me ask you a few questions.

How long have you been married?

Can you give me an example of some of the things you say?

What are your ages?

Who are the two people you have hurt and how have you hurt them?

Have you always been this way, or did it start at a particular time?

How long have you been in counsling? How is that going?

Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Reply to Ms Chase's Post: i will be married 2yrs july 15 i have belittled my wife and yelled at my step daughter i am 37 she is 29 they just ar broken down well with my first wife yes i was always this way but with this one no it did not start till i got away from god and we started haven money problems just a month in counseling
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.
Well, the best thing is that you understand that you have a problem. You have to realize that verbal abuse is simply the first step to even more harmful abuses, so it has to stop now. Although it can be hard when there are money issues and other problems, it's not fair to take your frustrations out on the people who are there for you and care for you. You've already taken the first step which is to be in counseling. Your counselor may wind up recommending medication, and also some exercises that you can try to help control your anger and the need to lash out at others. Sometimes if you feel like you are going to lash out it might be a good idea to go in another room or take a walk until you can calm down. You especially should not be doing this to a child, and you already know this. If you can't make a change, you may lose her and your stepdaughter and the cycle will start all over again. Stick with your counseling, perhaps start going back to church, and just be strong. Communicate with your wife and let her see that you are trying and it will be easier to deal with. I welcome your thoughts. Let me know if you want to talk more.

Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

How are things going?


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