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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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Im a widow 18 months ago. Since my husband died

Resolved Question:

I''m a widow 18 months ago. Since my husband died my friend and close neighbor has become my confident and best friend. He''s married and has a special needs kid. He''s here everyday and we spend hours talking about personal things, he supports me, calls me even when he''s away and he''s become my closest friend ever. but we have never talked about having feelings for each other, other than friendship. His wife is very self-centered and the only thing she cares about is herself and the kids.She NEVER calls me or refers to me, n washes his own clothes. I trust him and I feel he feels something for me but he''ll never tell me because his kids situation. Everybody in my family knows him because he''s always here for me and sometimes she''s even rude to me. All my family knows hime because he''s always here for me and with me and they think we are both in love but afraid to say anything. He''s soon moving to another state. Should I say something or wait until he makes a first move?
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Hello Maria,

What are your ages?

Do you have children?

Why do you think she's rude to you?

Has he talked about leaving her?

Why is he leaving the state?


Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Reply to Ms Chase's Post: I'm 40 and so is he.
I have 3 kids and he has 2, one with special needs
We live in front of each other and she closes the door when I'm outside, she asks for sugar and when I'm in front of her door she yells at me and orders me to leave it in the front door and never opens the door. When she comes to my house (very rarely) she lets the kids do bad thing in my house, tear my plants and open my packages in my pantry and she just looks at me and gives me this look but does not help at all.

He has never talked about leaving her because he is a very good father and I thing he thinks his his kid needs him, and will do anything for the kids.
He is leaving the state because his kid needs special care in a certain hospital and here is where they are specialized in this kind fo syndrome.
I even think he's jelaus when he sees somebody else in my house, he comes and finds out who it is and sometimes even stays with my friends. He sends me messages and calls me when he's travelling. At night, he puts the kids down and he comes to my house and we watch t.v. together and talk. I cry many times and he always conforts me but he's never touched me, we have never come physical. Just a good night hug.
I'm very confused because everybody thinks he's in love with me but since he's not free he will never say anything. Should I?
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

I can tell that you want to say something to him, but you have to ask yourself what would it accomplish. If he hasn't said anything to you then he either does not feel that way about you, or he doesn't feel it's the right thing to do. I would have to agree with that, if you care about him, you won't tear him up by having to make a decision between you ans his child, obviously he wants to take care of his child and be there for him. I think the best thing to do, is to continue being friends, at some point in the future it's possible that things can change, he may decide to leave her, or he may decide to tell you how/if he feels. In the meantime, you don't want to be responsible for breaking up his marriage, let it be his choice to leave if thats what he wants to do. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.


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