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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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I was seeing this guy, who ended up going out with ...

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I was seeing this guy, who ended up going out with someone else. Now we''re friends and they''ve broken up, and for the last four weekends we''ve been together on Saturday night for hours and hours. In the last two weeks, he''s amped the amount of time he''s seen me. (We''ve been playing a video game at his house and he says that he just wants to play that game, but if that''s the case wouldn''t he just play it by himself?). He tells me I''m beautiful and cute and makes him laugh, but he hasn''t asked me out again--despite the fact he''s kind of dating around. Does he really like me and is too shy to say something, or is he just being flirty?
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 9 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on Just Answer. By the way, it would help me to know:

-What are your ages?

-How long have you known him?

-Does he act as if he likes you and just afraid to say something?

-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting me with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that I can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Reply to KimberlyF's Post: I'm 20 and he's 26. I've known him since the last week of August last year. I think he acts like he likes me, but I'm not sure.

The situation is that he and I broke up in November and we tried to be friends. Well he started seeing this girl, Erica, so I kind of stepped back and let them have their relationship (because I had all these feelings about him still) and I tried not to interfere. Well, they broke up in April and awhile after, he started talking to me again and he started opening up more about how he felt. He said he was really sorry for all that happend between us and I said "It's really okay. I just miss being your friend and seeing you" and he said "Well...we can change that". Then we started hanging out as friends--in the last month, every weekend I've been with him. Saturday's usually. The last couple of times, he's been like "You're so cute." "You're so beautiful". In fact, last night he said something about me being hot and I said "You're flattering me way too much" and he said "You can never flatter someone as beautiful as you too much".

At the same time, we talked about relationships and I'm afraid to ask if we should try again. I've tried to allude to it, by saying "Do you ever think we'd go back out?" and he said "If/when the time comes, we'll know. I wouldn't be adverse to it."

I don't know where to go from here. I don't know if I should try and make it more or just settle and enjoy the ride. It's hard because I know he's looking at me as a friend and I want more. It seems like he's wanting more at the same time, but at other times it doesn't. He emails me constantly at work to ask how I'm doing, he says I'm the one that makes him laugh the most...he spends a lot of time with me.

The reason we've been seeing each other initially was because he wanted to play a video game with me. That's why he keeps asking me over, is to play this game. It's his game and we play it at his house...I don't know if he's seriously THAT into that game or if he's wanting to see me. We have really great talks when we're togehter about everything...I just don't know.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 9 years ago.
Customerthanks for getting back to me so fast:

I think you just let it happen naturally but explain your feelings to him so that he knows how you feel. Tell him you have always liked him and that it hurt you when he just starting seeing Erica and that you step aside because you didn't think you should have compete for anyone's emotions. If you don't tell him everything and then you start dating again he may think that if he finds another female he will do the same thing he did with Erica just make sure that he is what you want he doesn't seem like he wants to settle down right now but that could change and it's not impossible. If you wait too long you may miss out again so I say let your feelings be known, you don't want to be on the outside looking in again like with Erica. He may be waiting for you to say the word and he may feel like the way he treated you before he may not think he doesn't deserves a second and chance and that friends is better than not having you in his life period.

It's obvious that he could ask one of his guy pals to come over and play and the fact that he keeps asking you means something. You just have to make sure that if that time comes where the two of you start dating that you are the only person he is dating unless you are willing to allow him to play the field in your relationship, he has to know you want the the only one. If you need more help click reply.

Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Reply to KimberlyF's Post: But what if he doesn't feel the same way? Because another roadbump in this story is I don't know if he's exactly ready to date. He told me he's asked girls out and got rejected, and I think he knows how I feel because I complement him so much. Like last night, I told him I don't see why anyone wouldn't want to be with him. How do I bring this subject up without ruining our friendship?
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 9 years ago.

If you guys are good friends then you should bring it up in an email or while you are playing video games. Just tell him how you feel and tell him your not trying to make his make a decision now and that you just want him to give it some thought. This way he will know that you aren't pushing the issues just basically putting it out there for a possibility of the two of you maybe trying again. Tell him if he isn't ready for that yet that is fine you would rather be friends than nothing at all. If he isn't ready to date again you will have your answer for the time being and then you will have to put the idea in the back of your head until he is ready, are you willing to do that? You are both young yet you have time even though we're are not promised tomorrow. Maybe give it another week and feel things out and then think about what you are going to do.

Customer: replied 9 years ago.
I'm sorry I keep bothering you.

I kind of asked him about it before and he said "If/When the time comes, we'll know. I wouldn't be adverse to it". Does that mean he'd give it thought? Does it sound like he likes me, or he's being 'friendly'? How do I bring this up again?
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 9 years ago.

It depends on how long ago you had asked him if it were months ago then yes I would bring it up again if it were just recently then no I would a little long to approach this again you don't want to sound pushy. I take what he said as meaning he is open for that to happen but he wants to it be a natural thing. You're not bothering, I'm happy to help you.

Customer: replied 9 years ago.
It was like a couple weeks ago, if that. We had a really good talk about what went wrong in our relationship (timing issues) and I don't know. I feel like at times he wants to have it be more, at the same time I feel like he's hesitant for some reason.

I'm seeing him tomorrow. We're going to play video games (again)--how should I act? He flirts with me constantly, he'll say those sweet things, he tickles me, he gently makes fun of me (and I do him). Does it sound like it's on the right track of maybe turning into something more? He did say something about things coming naturally last night...
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 9 years ago.

Some of the best relationships have come from the couple being friends first and really getting to know each other so I would say keep going the way you are and he will she that you are a great person and the right person for him. It sounds like the two of you very caring for each other and this is a good thing, just let it take it's course and hopefully things will fall into place on their own and if it were meant to be it will be if not remain friends and have fun.

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