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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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hi im a 22 year old man, who lives with his girlfriend. i ...

Customer Question

hi im a 22 year old man, who lives with his girlfriend. i have made some real bad mistakes in my relationship. I love my girlfriend with all my heart. When we have had a drink we have got into some real bad arguements & fights. We have been together for nearly five years. For that time we have had a tough life. My girlfriend has to have I.V.F cos her last boyfriend cheating on her and gave her a sexual transmitted desease. I am a young guy and have been brought up a complete different way to the way she has. Her family has so much more respect than mine, but since bein with her, i have learnt that there is alot more to life. Her family has never really excepted me, from the arguements and how i have treated her. But i have just been young & dumb. Whatever has happend in our relationship we have always got through. She is so caring & loving. Recently something really bad has happened & her parents hate me so much, if she stays with me they will have nothin 2 do with her. What can i do?
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 9 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on Just Answer. By the way, it would help me to know:

-What is your girlfriend's age?

-What happened that was so bad that her parents would hate you so much?

-Is she talking about leaving you?

Thank you again for trusting me with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that I can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Reply to KimberlyF's Post: she is 22. it is hard for both of us, as she can be very stressed alot. she can take alot out on me.
The end of last year we split up for 2 weeks & i took another girls number, nothing happened we was was just txtin but i was gonna take her out. it was just someone to talk 2. But i didn't, me & my girlfriend managed to sort it out. So i deleted her number and that was it. Then about a month ago, i got a random txt from this girl just sayin hi. i txt back sayin hi, and that we was much happier now and was livin together. I was so silly though and saved her number back in my phone under another name.
Then friday night just gone i was out with my friends, me and my girlfriend had had a row that day. I come home and she was mad at me. I walked out the house and tried to call that number, there was no answer. I come home and just went to sleep. The girl rang me back when i was sleepin. My girlfriend answerd it. She could hear girls in the background. She went mad at me and smashed my phone into the wall and went to attack me. I pushed her away with my foot and she fell back landed on her arm. She had discalated her thumb. She is ok though. But she went out the house and called her mum and dad. They picked her up. She told them lots of things about me cos of what had happened, she was just upset. At the time i didnt know what to say. I just said i took someone's number that night. I dont know why. The first thing i could think of. But the next day she come to get her stuff and i had writen her a letter sayin the truth. She wants to forgive me, i didn't cheat on her. But i know its just her parents now. She has said she is keeping the house because her mum will just be on her case. I have stayed with her the last 2 nights. I love her so much, i know what i have done wrong and just wish i could turn back time.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 9 years ago.



Thank you for replying back to me, although you texted the girl while you and your girlfriend were back together you still did nothing wrong you didn't sleep with this girl or even go out with her but the fact that you called her while you and your girlfriend were fighting is what made your girlfriend mad and then you lied about when she confronted you. Maybe you should tell her to explain to her parents how her thumb actually got dislocated and then maybe they won't be so mad at you but I must say your girlfriend should have kept that information about you private and not have told her parents because now they hate you and she wants to be back with you and it makes it so much harder for the two of you to work on your relationship but it is up to her to make things right and tell her parents that you aren't as bad as she made you seem.

Even though she wants to respect her parent and that is a good thing, she can't live for her parents she is 22 years old and it's time for her to make her own life and her parents aren't going to agree with everyone she dates they just have to let her make her own decisions and her own mistakes that is the only way she will learn about life and living life. You will prove to her parents that you aren't out to hurt their daughter and understand they are just trying to protect her from getting hurt you can't expect anything less from a parent. give it some time and they will see that you are not the evil person they think you are right now, you have to be willing to put in the work to help them see that you are good for their daughter. You and your girlfriend have to learn to talk to each other without fighting, sit down calmly and talk things out.

Try not to lie about something so innocent it only makes you look guilty remember honest is always the best policy even if that person is going to be mad about the truth, they get ten times more mad at a lie because then they lose trust in you. it is up to your girlfriend to fix the mess with her parents because she made the mess if she wouldn't have talked badly about you her parents would not hate you. you should work on your relationship first and then deal with the problem with the parents. Maybe if they see you getting along it won't take as long to get the parents to come around.

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