replied 9 years ago.
This is what I e-mail my son last night, what do you think of my layman discussion? Please be frank. His girlfriend, does talk to other guys, then tells my son about it, and that she actually likes the other guys. He replies, "Well, how would you feel if I did the same?" She says she would not like it. So, he says that is not fair. You may be thinking they are so incredibly young, and I think so, too, although I did get married when I was 18. And, looking back, as is usually the case, even at the tiny age of 18, you think you have it all figured out. For my son, I do feel if he has these feelings (this is not the first time, he is scared to go away at all), it may not be the right long-term relationship or marriage. He will live in constant knots. And, to give her the benefit of the doubt, if she flirting with other guys as a means of security or attention-seeking, she may not be entirely happy in the relationship either. One thing is, I will not do any monitoring of her. It would be too obvious, and if I did find something out, I would not know how to handle the information. But, thank you for the thought. It is not a bad idea, because personally I would do something like that in my own life. Anyway, please read my advice to him, and please, please add or revise. And, if you could provide your input on her flirtatious behavior. He is so confused why she feels the need to do this. He declares that he is constantly reassuring her. And, how do I tell him without being trite, "there are other fish in the sea" if things do not go well?
I am sure things will be OK while you are jailing. Like we were saying there is nothing worse than a break up, and she may be a little too friendly with other guys because she wants to have "feelers" out in case something happens between you two. I know you reassure her, but she still may be scared. Plus, like you said, it is not uncommon for women especially to crave attention. That is probably how you "snagged" her in the first place, was by giving her a lot of attention. There is no perfect answer, and God knows I do not have a clue, but just remember, you have never had trouble finding a girl, and I know E is the one you love and want, but you are extremely young, and just look at how many girls you have had just in your short lifetime? It will be OK. I don't mean to sound trite, but if she does cheat, it is better to have it happen now than when you get even deeper involved. And, she won't. If she does, you do not want her anyway. Talk to Dad. He is smart on these matters.