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I apologize no one helped you in that category. I would say that your mom can call, as she is his wife, as his daughter they might not be willing to talk to you, but if your mom won't call, it's worth a try.
Why is he not wearing his hearing aid? Have you talked to him about not yelling around your daughter? When you say out of control with his diabetes, what do you mean?
I would check his meter, he may need to go back to the doctor if he's not maintaining a balance. You and your mom have to get together and stand up to him. I'm not sure what would work, or wouldn't, but maybe let him know that if he doesn't wear his hearing aid, no one will respond to him. Let him yell to his little hearts content and get some earplugs. If you stand together, you will have more power. Once he' sees that you're serious, he'll figure it out. You're an adult now, you are not obligated to help him with anything. WHat you do, you do out of the kindness of your heart and because you love him. I understand what it feels like to be under someone financially, but you have to put your foot down about certain things. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more