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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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Im sorry if this sounds really trivial but Im struggling to ...

Resolved Question:

Im sorry if this sounds really trivial but Im struggling to cope and get over the break up of my relationship of the last 7 months, it might not have been a long time but I really love him and I never expected to meet someone again after the suicide of my last partner last June. It feels like its happening all over again for me and Im having bad thoughts of wanting to end my life as I feel like Im worth nothing.
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 9 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on Just Answer. By the way, it would help me to know:

-What are your ages?

-Why did you break up?

-How long after your boyfriends suicide did you start dating again?

-How long were you dating the boyfriend that committed Suicide?

-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting me with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that I can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Reply to KimberlyF's Post: Im 36 and my boyfriend ive just split from is 28. I met him 3 months after the death of my last partner whom i lived with for nearly 4 yrs. We had so many plans and I was just starting to feel happy again. My latest boyfriend lives 135 miles from me and we used to visit each other at weekends and sometimes during the week and we were making plans to one day live together and then out of the blue he said he still loves me and misses me but he doesnt think he can leave his friends and family to be with me as i cant move away as i have 2 kids in school here, he said he only needs time to clear his head and some space to think about things but i know deep down its over and i feel so heart broken, it sounds stupid but its affecting my whole life, i keep crying whereever i am and i just feel like i am never going to be happy. I hope this helps.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 9 years ago.

Belinda thank you for replying so quickly,

It's never stupid if you are thinking of ending your life over the relationship breaking up. It may have been too soon for you to start dating again and you didn't give yourself time to heal from losing someone that was part of your life for 4 years and this is why you are taking it so hard now that he needs a break but he didn't say he wanted to break up only that he needed time and space. What you needed was some time to mourn and you didn't give yourself much time at all, also maybe counseling would have been a good ideal since the boyfriend committed suicide while with you. Just the fact that he says he loves you should give you hope because if he truly loves you then he will realize that he doesn't want to live without you.

Have you ever thought about getting counseling and talking to someone about your sadness? You will never be able to get past the past without talking to someone about old wounds that come back when things in your life don't go exactly the way that you planned. You have two children that depend on and need you hurting yourself is never the answer to your problems you just leave people behind that will miss you and feel lost without you kind of the way you felt when your partner committed suicide and left you to get over them. It's different with children they often tend to blame themselves and think if only they were better children or behaved more then their parent wouldn't have hurt themselves.

I would be more worried if you weren't showing any emotion at all what you are showing are your true feelings of hurt and feeling lost, you need to find yourself before you can be any good for anyone else. Maybe take this time to find yourself and your purpose in life. That is what relationships are all about taking chance and having ups and downs. Give your current boyfriend the time that he needs and give yourself time to heal from the past maybe with some counseling you will realize that all of your feelings are normal considering have gone through. Don't assume the relationship is over just because you feel that it is let your boyfriend tell you when it's over.

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