I've read through all of your other questions. Many people here have given you a lot of good information about the way you are feeling, and may of these experts gave you good advice, yet you never accepted their answers. The experts here don't work for free and it's hard to do this type of work and not get the credit for it, I want you to understand that.
As for your problem, you already know and have been told that this is an anxiety problem. I know you feel like you can't talk to your parents, or you can't see anybody about this, but the fact is, if you don't talk to someone, whether your parents, or a counselor, it could get worse. Your parents may already know that something is wrong, but they may not be sure what. They will not hate you if you talk to them, they will probably be relieved to hear that you want to talk about it.
You've said that you don't want to take medications because of the side affects, but if you haven't tried the medication, how do you know you will have side affects? Not all medications affect everyone the same way. If you do take medication, imagine what it would be like to be free of these feelings and thoughts, enough so that you could try to have a more normal time of it, and not have so many thoughts or feelings that bother you or make you feel this way.
You only have a few options, or else you will have to deal with these issues over and over. First, talk to someone close to you, your parents, a counselor, you could even walk into the emergency room at your local hospital. Consider medication, some of the newer drugs have fewer and fewer side effects, and some of the ones who do have side effects, they aren't that bad or hard to deal with.
I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.