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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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I had a serious relationship with a guy for about a year ...

Customer Question

I had a serious relationship with a guy for about a year and we broke up like 3 months ago or so . We did not hang out for a month or so because i think he wanted sex . Latley though i have been hanging out with him hooking up ect. I still really love this guy and sometimes I think he still cares but other times he treats me like crap. He thinks I guess that I am the same insecure girl. Like we hung out saturday night had fun I thought but then sunday morning rolls around and he was a jerk i just dont get it i have already tried to call him but his phone died so we really didn;t get to talk. I know i made him sound bad but i really love and want to be with him what should my next step be.??
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Hi Jenna,

Were you able to view the answer to your last question? I ask because it was never accepted. Let me know.



Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Yea i did not recieve the aswer untill i signed on today which has been months later so i didn't read it I just denclined because so much time had passed and I had a new question
Customer: replied 9 years ago.
I hope that you can still answer my current question
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

did he spend the night sat?

have you been intimate with him?

Why dod you split up with him?

How did he act like a jerk sunday?

aside from loving him, why do you want to be with him?


Customer: replied 9 years ago.
I stayed the night at his house saturday, and yes we have been intimate and we made a deal to just sleep with each other. I guess we split because he lost intrest in haveing a relationship says he doesn't want a girlfreind. He was being a jerk teasing me and jsut made me feel like he wanted to get rid of me and then he asked if he made me mad and i was leaving and I was like I just don't see why you have to be a dick and he was like this is why we should have made rules but I don't know what he meant because i left..I want to be with him because i can't see being with anyone else.
Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Does this help? I just want to know what I can do to get him to fall for me again?
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.


At this point he's made it clear to you that he's only interested in having you as a sexual partner, so the only thing left to do is decide if you want to be that or if you are looking for a more fulfilling relationship. When you agree to 'just sex', there can be certain rules that apply, like no feelings, no obligation to call or have any set days to see each other. Basically, not to have any responsibility to each other and if you meet someone else, or he meets someone else, there won't be any explanations. There's no guarantee that a sexual relationship will turn back into a regular relationship, you just have to decide if that's enough for you. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.


Customer: replied 9 years ago.
so there is nothing that i can do to make him change his mind>?
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

I mentioned this in your last question. You can't make someone fall for you again. If a person doesn't have that caring or love inside them there's nothing you can do to put it there as we are not in control of other peoples feelings or emotions.

One way to force him to confront how he feels or what he wants is to stop sleeping with him altogether. Why should he make a decision to be with you romantically, when he can always be with you sexually. You have to make a decision to control your own life, and show him that he can't run your life. If you walk away from the sex then he will be forced t confront his emotions and make a decision.....the bad part is he may not make the decision you want him to make and you could lose him altogether.


Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Do you have any suggestions of how I can go about this leaving him thinking of me ..Like what should I say as to why I want to cut things off like that in a way that may make him think twice?
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Jenna, I would let him know that you care about him, but you don't feel comfortable with a sex buddy relationship. Love is not just about sex, it's about respect, partnership, caring, and compromise. It's not easy to find love in this world, and when you do, you should respect it. Let him know that you have too much respect for yourself and you are looking to have a friend as well as a lover, someone you can share your life with, not just your bed. This puts the decision in your hands, and leaves it up to him to decide if he's willing to lose you.