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Walter, Relationship Mentor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience:  Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)
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My boyfriend and I disagree on a topic, of which I would ...

Resolved Question:

My boyfriend and I disagree on a topic, of which I would your advise. The issue is whether or not he should have female friends outside of our relationship. We are very serious and plan on getting married sometime in the future, he is 63 and I am 59, he is a physician and I am an x-corporate american manager. We are mature stable people, his wife passed away and I am divorced. He dated extensively prior to our meeting and the person in question is another widower he dated. He feels it is acceptale for him to have 'friends' of the opposite sex, where I am not involved. The issue I have with this is that this other woman is not a college, is not an association through an organization, or life long friend but rather an x-girlfriend. Further, I am not included with their relationship activities. Yet, he professes she is just a friend. I somewhat believe him but my training with corporate america tells me this is inappropriate behavior, looks suspicious and could easily lead to so
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Walter replied 9 years ago.


Having friends is one thing.......having friends that you can not share is another. Is there a reason why you can not join their activities? There is no reason why a friends gender should come into play in your relationship unless it makes you uncomfortable or he is hiding something in regards XXXXX XXXXX friend.

You may want to sit down with him and let him know that you have no issues with them being friends, but why can you not be friends together and do things together instead of them being alone? Let him know that you love him but the fact that he wants to be alone is suspicious in itself. If he has no desire to change this then you will need to follow your heart.

In the end why is he putting this issue ahead of your relationship? While he has the right to request that he has freinds......the fact is friends tend to be such as which are acceptable in the group not alone.


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