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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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Will Ron and I get back together

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We have been separated for 7 years - neither one of us is with anyone now - he was with a younger women but she moved on 3 years ago. Ron and i were together for 18 years but never married. he has 4 children and 5 grandchildren that are like mine also - we have all spent the 3 last holidays together - I spend every birthday and holiday with the kids- what is going to happen?


It's been a long time since we last spoke. Have you been spending any time with him aside from the holidays and birthdays?

What has your relationship been like since we last spoke?

Have you been seeing each other? Have you been intimate with one another?


Customer: replied 9 years ago.
yes we have gotten together for golf - no itimacy, kiss and hugs, e-mails - talk about everything - relationship is caring - i want to resolve the issues and get back together -
Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Did you answer my qustion or did i accept in error when you asked for further information?
Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Will i be hearing back from you Chase? I sent my answers -
Customer: replied 9 years ago.
I have paid a deposit and have not heard from you - i just got an e-mail from Andy saying he was surprised I have not heard anything - PLEASE RESPOND CHASE - THANK YOU

Hello Nikki

I apologize for the delay, I was sick yesterday and did not come online. I am working on your answer now.


Customer: replied 9 years ago.

Thank you Nikki, I am feeling a little better, though not 100% yet.

We talked about Ron before and after all of this time, he still has not made a move to make things more serious between the two of you. It seems to me that he feels more comfortable being friends with you, and since the two of you have been a part of each others lives for so long, he has no problem keeping you in the family because let's face it, you are a part of the family. I don't know if he means to keep you hanging on like this, but it might be a good idea to simply confront him about it and let him know how you feel, because the longer you wait for him to make the first move, or to come up with some type of decision about what's going to happen in your life. 

If he does know how you feel about him, then he's not being fair to you.

If he doesn't know how you feel about him,then you're being unfair to yourself.

If you haven't told him, then you have to. This is too long a period of time to go, without getting a definitive answer. You're wasting a lot of time, that could be spent on finding someone who wouldn't be afraid to tell you how they feel or to step up to the plate if needed. You sound like amazing woman, with a lot going for her and a lot of love to give the right person. In some way, you must figure out how to move forward from this point so that you can live a fuller happier life. If that means sitting him down and explaining to him what you want from him and the two of you, or simply letting it go if he has shown no interest in taking things further. You have to look at things objectively and look at your life honestly. Maybe you're afraid to move on? Maybe you think you won't find anything as good as what you once had? But if you don't figure out how to move on from this point, then you can literally not find happiness or the things that are meant for you in your life.

I hope this helps some. Of course, I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more. And again, I apologize for the wait. :)


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Customer: replied 9 years ago.

Thank you for your expert opinion - it is true, I am wasting my time - I am not afraid to move forward - it has been a battle for me due to my health issues - i think that is dragging me down and making feel so uncertain - and i feel Ron can't and does not want to handle this - yes i am a part of the family, and he knows that - what is the outcome for him, do you know? Thanks

I'm sorry to hear about your health issues, it can make life harder for you, and also make ron afraid to commit himself out of fear. Perhaps in many ways he feels comfortable that you will always be there. Maybe the next holiday that you are invited to, you make other plans and tell him you cannot go. I know this would be painful because he is not the only one involved, but it would give him a chance to notice your absence and to see what it would be like for you not to be there. I believe that it might be possible, that if you got out there and dated and got involved with someone else, it's possible he might turn around and see what he might be losing. There's no real way to tell, but doing so would be good for you either way.

I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more