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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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Dating a man for years, never had sexual contact

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Dating gentleman for years, not an every day thing, once or twice a month. We share great times, attend functions, even slept over his home a few times (in a spare bedroom). I am 55, he is 58. I am unaware of any real health issues, what do you think
this is all about? Someone else, lack of real interest, fear of commitment, gay. Should I address this and how?


You use the term 'dating' but if you've never been intimate, what makes you think you are dating as opposed to friends?

Have you kissed intimately?

How many years? has the subject never come up?


Customer: replied 9 years ago.
No, we have never kissed intimately. Always a peck, hand-holding. The subject has never come up.

Although once I bumped into him at a dance, I was approached by him to go home with him, but I had a friend with me who needed a ride home, and I could not commit.

Are you sure you're dating him? and how many years has it been?

who instigates the pecks? hand holding? phone calls? dates?



Customer: replied 9 years ago.
I dated him once or twice years ago, and then I
didn't see him for years. Bumped into him 4 years ago, and have been seeing him quite often.

The phone calls are mutual. If I stop calling, he pursues me. He holds my hand, I hold his. I did instigate the peck when he arrives to pick me up. He recipricates. He always the perfect gentlemen. If I sleep over, I am told everything
has to be immaculate for me.

Is this purely a companionship thing and do you think I should continue to see him, but puruse other avenues at the same time?
Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Did not receive your reply.

I would definitely want to know what his feelings are before pursuing other options, even if those feelings were not what I wanted to hear. If he says he really likes you and wants to be with you in a relationship, and thats what you want, then great. If he's not interested in a relationship, then it's up to you if you want to still hang out and go places together the way you have been.

There's nothing wrong with a platonic relationship between a man and a woman as long as they are both clear and aware that it is what it is. Talk to him about it, tell him you are not one to sit in judgment of him, you just want to get a handle on what the situation is between the two of you. If he's not willing to give you a definitive answer then yes, I would explore other avenues, and if you want to continue seeing him, you can do that too, but don't try to hide that you are actively dating.

I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.



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