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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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How dodoes a female go about asking very quiet shy guys out ...

Customer Question

How does a female go about asking very quiet, shy guys out without scaring them off? Sometimes these guys never even make eye contact. Should I just leave them alone? There are 2 I am intrigued by.
Submitted: 9 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Hello Gen,

do you have mutual friends?

Where do you know these guys from?

What are your ages?


Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Reply to Ms Chase's Post: One is our mail carrier. I am 36. He looks anywhere from 20's to 30's. the other one is inhis 20's and I see him at the local college when I go to the computer lab. both men are very to themselves. Never look up. If men are that shy, doe s it indicate "don't bother me" or is it their way of hoping the woman makes the move instead.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Hello Gen,

There has to be some type of 'start', even the most shy man will look. Your mail carrier is an easy approach because you can ask any question relating to his job. You can say you were expecting a pkg, and ask how a large pkg would be delivered (if he asks about it later, say it came UPS), say your brother (sister, mother, whoever) wants a job at the post office and how should they go about it. Once you have that first conversation, you will be able to get a vibe on whether he likes you at all. If he's really shy, you may have to keep saying hello, and initiating the conversation. If he doesn't start initiating after the 3rd or 4th time, then it could be he's not interested.

As far as the computer lab, you won't know anything unless they look up, you hold the eye contact the first couple of times, the second or third time, you'll want to as a smile. If they just never look up, you can always act like you know nothing about computers and ask for help doing something on the computer "I see you at the computer all the time, maybe you can show me how to....." After that, you have an excuse to say hi to them when you see them

If they don't start initiating the hello's when they see you, again, you can take it that they are not interested.

Keep in mind that just because a man won't come on to you, doesn't mean he's not attracted, but he could be in a relationship, he could be gay, he could have just gotten out of a bad relationship, so don't take it personal, keep your options open.

I hope this helps. Let me know if you want to talk more



Ms Chase and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Perfect ideas. I hadn't thought of those. Thank you!
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Gen, no problem, its my pleasure to help. :) Do feel free to request me by name if you should have any other questions. Good luck with everything


Customer: replied 9 years ago.
Reply to Ms Chase's Post: It's so tough when u don't know what they are thinking. those extremely shy very cute guys always intrigue me. Makes me wonder what they are afraid of. Be coool to at least have friendship of hello/how are ya, tho.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 9 years ago.

Don't equate quiet or shy with fear, just because someone is not social, doesn't mean they are afraid of something. Every person is a story with an individual history and should be approached that way. It's always best to meet someone without expectations based on their appearances, because everything is not what it seems. I've met some extremely shy guys who were very social in their own environment. :)