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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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Not sure if loyalty is an issue

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My new husband of 2 years had his longtime troubled friend move in for 3 mos. His friend is in need of material and emotional support and starting a new life again with our help. I was at my wits end with his stay. I do like my privacy and felt my husband had devoted all of his time to him while he was here. My husband discussed our personal business all the time in front of him and he also works for my husband and they see each other daily. My husband and I agreed he would move out on Wednesday when he got his key to his place but they had planned a move on Friday. Hus. & I agreed to Wed. On Wednesday evening, I noticed his friend was upset, didn''t want to talk to me. I asked him if my husband said anything to him, he said it doesn''t really matter. Then when my husband came home, we started discussing what was said to him and my husband said in front of his friend, I could have waited til Friday but you wanted him out on Wednesday. I was shocked. Is their an issue with loyalty?

You and your husband live together in a home that you both share. His friend, who depended on the two of you in his dire time of need. Its one thing if your husband devoted time to him while he was there, since he was going though something, but discussing your personal info in front of him was wrong. Perhaps because he works with him they feel a closeness, and he may even talk to him at work about personal things that you were just unaware of until you saw it first hand, much like you might discuss your personal business with a close friend, things that your husband might not be aware of or appreciate if he was aware.

Saying what he said to his friend on Wed was very disloyal, and caused a rift between you and his friend that could have been avoided. The fact is you were doing someone a favor, that few people would, and both of them should have been appreciative.

I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.


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